35. Conversations In A Closet

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Eternity tightened her hold around Lili's waist, doing her best to support the girl. Actually, it was a bit more than supporting. More like Eternity's arm was the only thing keeping Lili standing and not collapsing to the floor unconscious like she had last night. Eternity was honestly surprised it hadn't happened again, what, with what Lili had just done.

Lili's magic truly was an abyss, an abyss filled with fire and shadow and power, Eternity thought. And she would know, what, with her unique ability. She had felt the surge of that power, like the tide swelling, but with a thousand times more force, when Lili had unleashed it against the Countess. It was drowning and relentless, and so easily escaped control. 

Except this time, it hadn't. This time, the storm of power had been controlled by Lili's anger. Eternity had felt it, could tell the difference between power getting out of hand and power being deliberately used. 

This had been deliberate.

Eternity guessed that was the reason why Lili's face was pale and she looked on the verge of tears, refusing to meet anyone's eye. The poor thing was experiencing the exhaustion of such a big surge of magic, and the weight of her actions all at once, and it clearly wasn't an easy burden to bear.

"Lili," Rafe said again, "you should sit down. Let me help y-"

"No!" Lili cut him off, her voice wild. Then she made a half sighing noise and responded, "please dad, just, don't. I'm fine."

Rafe looked at his eldest daughter with such worry and compassion then, "you clearly aren't fine. You're on the verge of collapse, and you're upset. But whatever it is, I can handle it. I can help."

Lili nearly burst into tears at that. It meant the world to her that she had just been exploding with power and yet her father still treated her with love and care and fearlessness. But she couldn't talk to him. Not right now. She was terrified of looking him in the eye and telling him how angry she had gotten, how intentional her deeds were. Not because he would fear her, but because he would feel guilty for putting her in this situation even though she had insisted on coming. He would think it was his fault even though it was not. And even though he was her father and she just wanted to let him care for her, she couldn't bring herself to break his heart.

And maybe, just maybe, her reluctance to talk to her father also had something to do with the fact that she wasn't at all ready to accept those unearthly depths of anger she had just exhibited as part of herself.

She tried to find something to say, some way to turn down his good intentions and ease his worries. But no sound came out except for something between a sob and a cough, which only served to increase his fear.

"Lili, come sit-"

Fortunately, someone seemed to realize how Rafe's well intentioned offers of help were only making Lili feel worse. Eternity, who hadn't known Lili long and yet could still read her like a book, jumped to the blonde's rescue, "actually, I got Lili. I'm keeping her steady."

Rafe looked uneasy. Not because he didn't trust Eternity - he did - but after something like this, he felt like it was his job as her father to look after her, not allow her to suffer in silence. He said hesitantly, "Eternity, you don't have to-"

"I know, but I have her anyways," Eternity replied with surprising firmness and a calm tone, "I was going to help her outside. Maybe the fresh air would help."

"That's a good idea," the ghost of Gabriel agreed, finding his voice after all the chaos, "it can help clear a dizzy head."

Rafe still seemed hesitant. So Lili found it within herself to speak up, "you need to check on Abby and Jake. Make sure they're safe and fill them in on the scroll and the plan and all. Eternity and I can get outside ourselves."

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