07: Dr. Tony Anderson

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Tony

She was hesitant. It was clear in her eyes and her expression; my nerves were already on edge; her hesitance was just the icing on top of the pancake.

I began doubting myself. Did I ask her too soon? We had been dating for nearly two years now. Did she just not want to be with me?

Please say yes, Violet. Please don't embarrass me right now.

Her eyes quickly left mine and wandered suddenly across the room and lingered on a masculine figure. I followed her line of sight as my eyes landed on a tall gentleman wearing a dark hoodie and jeans. I wondered what he could possibly be doing here dressed so casually. This place was nearly impossible to reserve, nobody here was that underdressed.

I looked back at Violet, she was still staring at him. And my insecurities began creeping in. He was taller than me, probably stronger, his eyes were an incredible gray, how unique. He looked like a model, an Adonis. How could I ever compare?

Why was Violet still staring at him? I could feel my temperature rising and I couldn't tell if it was anger, jealousy, or nerves. Perhaps all three.

My knee began to hurt as I began regretting making this a public proposal. Violet didn't strike me as somebody afraid of being seen in public, or making decisions this big in public. She'd given countless presentations during our rounds. It wasn't like her to suddenly get shy.

"Violet," I said as she turned her attention back to me, her dark eyes gazing into mine. Looking at her standing there, a true vision of beauty, class, and innocence, I noticed how tired she looked. Perhaps the only reason I wasn't as tired as her was because of the adrenaline flowing through my veins. I remained on one knee, awaiting an answer and expecting a rejection.

She bent down and reached for my hand, whispering in my ear so others couldn't hear, "Tony, I do want to marry you, but I don't think that now is a good time to get engaged. I will take the ring for now because I know how much work you put into this. Thank you and I love you, but I think I still have a long way to go in my career before settling down and starting a family," I looked into her eyes, shocked, trying to prevent my eyes from trailing further down. I tried to remain composed as I looked her right in her dark brown eyes.

I wanted to tell her we didn't need to start having kids right away. We could just be together in marriage, in love forever. But my mouth was sealed, shocked and frozen as my expectations had suddenly crumpled and fell down a hill like an avalanche.

She kissed my cheek as I stood up and I shouted some blasphemy to keep the show going; if this was getting recorded and she had said no, I would've been so embarrassed. Several people cheered as Violet placed the ring on her finger. I rather liked seeing it there; perhaps I was just being possessive of the girl I loved, but I couldn't comprehend why she hadn't immediately said yes.

We had been together for two entire years, I thought this was what was ideal for us at this point. We loved each other. It didn't make sense.

As we sat back down to share a slice of the cake, I noticed the man still staring at her and her glancing right back in his direction.

I wondered if they knew each other or if I was simply creating some narrative in my mind to fulfill the answers I sought.

I couldn't deny that I was hurt. She'd basically rejected my proposal. I mean, what more do I expect from a 23 year old. I'm nearly 28, thoughts of marriage have been clouding my mind since I graduated and if Violet didn't want to be a part of a family with me, then there was no denying that I had wasted the past two years of my life.

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