broken as i • a kylo ren story

xviii (xviii)

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when you woke up the next morning, you realized that you were tucked into your bed which you knew for a fact was not your doing.

kylo must have tucked you in last night, which caused some of the internal pain of yours to leave for a split second. you didnt know how you were going to get through this, but you were determined. you were determined to do it for the people that cared for you.

you rolled over to your side, and saw a note. you picked it up carefully and read it.

my dearest jerk-face,

im sorry from the bottom of my little heart that i couldnt stay with you- i have some business to take care of. i am also truly sorry for the mess i made. words cant explain how much i regret it. nothing can make put for what i did, and i know that. one day, i will be able to make it up to you- i just know it. i really do hope that all gets better, and that you know i am always here for you. i will see you later, shitbag.

                                             your one and only,
                                    the marvelous kylo ren

after setting the piece of paper down, you realized that you had a huge grin on your face. you were glad that he used a bit of humor in the note, because you really needed it. you were also glad that kylo realized just how bad he messed up. you could tell that he was genuinely sorry, and you appreciated that a lot.

your mind was telling you to hate him, to keep a grudge and never look at the man again. but your heart? your heart was telling you to forgive him, and to take in all his comforting because you definitely needed it. your heart outweighed your mind and that was extremely rare for you. you always used your mind, and it has gotten you pretty far.

your body was screaming at you to get up and stretch, but your brain said otherwise. you didnt have the motivation or even will to get up. you wanted to stay in your cozy,enjoyable bed forever, but you knew deep in your mind that you couldnt do such a thing.

you forced yourself up and headed for the bathroom.

"you can do this. do this for the people that care for you." you repeated to yourself.

that was one of the negative yet positive things about you. you put others infront of yourself...a little too much. you knew that they would understand if you ended up staying confined in your room, but you forced the thought out of your mind. sometimes, you just pushed yourself to much- and you needed a break.

you looked into the mirror and you thought that a different person was looking back.

you had the puffiest eyes ever, a pale skin tone, and disgusting looking clothing. you almost puked at the sight. you carefully got ready and headed for the door. you needed to explain to jaxx the situation. you knew that it was the right thing to do. before you stepped out, kylo suddenly appeared infront of you. you jumped back a bit and just stared at him.

you thought that looking at him might bring back the hate you felt for him, but it didnt. it brought you ease, and serenity. looking closer, you noticed that kylo was in a different location then you.

how was that possible?

"why is going on?" you said with a raspy tone. you cleared your throat and waited for a reply.

"it seems as if we are in a forcelink right now. did you do th- wait nevermind, i havent taught you that. wait actually, have you ever done this before? has somebody ever taught you this?"