broken as i • a kylo ren story

xvii (lv)

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immediately after he said those words, you sat up- and he did too.

"what?"

"theres no reason for us to be here anymore, you know that. i th-" you cut him off before he could express more of his thoughts.

"when i said that earlier, i didnt really mean it you know. well actually sorry- i worded that wrong. of course i meant it, i would do anything for it to just be us- together, living in a cute- actually scratch that, a huge like...mansion next to a lake where we can go out and try to drown each othe-"

you stopped talking when you saw kylo trying to hold back a smile. i mean, he couldnt really help it...

the way your eyes lit up as your imagination somehow surprised yourself? he loved it. the way your lips curved up as you chatted away? he adored it. the way you leaned your head back and scrunched your nose as you came up with better ideas? he treasured it.

"the fuck you want?" you asked him before you looked down.

you hadnt even realized that during your little ramble of your future with him, you'd grabbed onto his fingers and started fidgeting with them. you also hadnt realized just how off topic you were beginning to get.

"oh sorry." you said, keeping your grip on his hand, "as i was saying, i would love that b- jaxx! yes yes yes, jaxx! what would happen with jaxx? oh, and etta? piers? leanna? we cant just leave them here." you said as you looked over at kylo.

he looked back at you and you could clearly see that he was thinking. after a few annoyingly long moments of silence, he finally spoke up. "just take them with us."

you slightly rolled your eyes at him, though the comment wasnt even that bad. "hm, but how? sorry that i keep asking all these questions and stuff- being doubtful or whatever, but things dont always... work in favor of me." you said as you let go of him.

you suddenly felt yourself being pulled up against his chest and kylos arms once again wrapping around you. "i know, diamond." he said as he placed a kiss of your head.

a smile began to grow on you, and you turned around so that you were facing him again- pretty much sitting on his lap.

"so my wonderful, brilliant, thoughtfully contructed plan i-"

"hurry up already!" you chuckled as you lightly slapped his chest.

"okay okay!" he chuckled himself as he placed his hands on your hips, "like i just said, we can just take them with us. im still in control of the order, so nobody will question why we're using the ships."

your smile was wiped off immediately after he mentioned the first order, and he noticed that. "what's wrong, hm?"

"the first order- gosh how could i forgetten! they will track us down and kill us, there's no doubt about it. say we actually do leave, escape- whatever you want to call it. theyll just go after us...all of us! i really dont want to hear news that jaxx or etta and piers, leanna are dead."

"y/n, calm down you are overthinking-"

"im not overthinking, im being practical." you said as you began chewing on your lip.

"no no, i know you are. ill disable any and all tracking devices or systems that are placed on the ships. trust me y/n, they won't be able to find anyone. i will also clear everyone from first order technology, making it as if we didnt exist. well obviously they are going to remember me- probably also you, so we should...stay in hiding for a little bit. i got this- we got this under control, everything will be just fine." kylo said as he gave you a small squeeze.