broken as i • a kylo ren story

ii (xl)

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a blazing red light pierced right through huxs body, inches away from your own.

he took in a large, deep breath- before his limp body collapsed onto yours. his body weight caused you to scream in pain because of the pressure of it on your fragile, broken body. staring at his body that was on you, it quickly was ripped away from your line of sight, but not physically.

somebody used the force.

slowly tilting your head up, you saw him once again- you saw kylo.

you looked right into his eyes, and you could sense the fear that was within him. he saved you, and you were still in shock- shock because you were seconds away from death.

you gazed at him for a little longer, and you could tell that he was trying to avoid direct eye contact. but eventually your eyes locked and the galaxy stopped for a bit.

you quickly broke the moment when you tried to spit a couple of words out, but your throat was dry and the cuts near your face and neck didnt help either. kylo instantly broke eye contact and you then felt your hands be freed from the chain that was previously holding onto you.

you moved your hands so that they were now on your lap, and you took in the deepest breath you could without hurting yourself. you could feel kylo watching you, and you didnt want to talk to him in the moment. hundreds of emotions were coursing through you, and you couldn't comprehend which was the correct one.

you felt grateful because he saved your life. but, you felt anger because he took one- he took lukes. you reminded him that the plan was huxs, but you knew that kylo had nothing against it. you felt regret because you didnt turn back and help the old man. you felt joy because you would be able to see jaxx, and etta and piers. also, you could possibly rekindle your relationship with kylo.

but by the looks of it, that wasn't going to happen. in a blink of an eye, you saw the door of the room open and he disappeared once again. you thought that maybe he would help you or something, like seriously- he saw what state you were in and he didnt even ask if you needed help.

"fucking men." you said with such a raspy voice it was barely noticeable as yours. you rolled your eyes as you tried to lift yourself up, only to fall back onto to hard ground. "shit." you mumbled as you felt a couple of your wounds start to gush out blood because of the impact.

it appeared that some sort of adrenaline was supplying you with a very limited amount of energy, and you knew you had to use it right away before it was gone. you closed your eyes and tried to channel the force once again. you suddenly felt your legs become stable and soon enough, you were standing up and leaning against the pole. you didnt want to look down at the floor or your body because you knew it wasnt going to be a pretty sight. you decided to just completely ignoring your surroundings, and you started to make your way to the door.

with every single step, with every single movement of your body- it was excruciating. "j...just do it for jaxx. you can do this, the force is with you. get to the medbay, and all will be fine." you grunted to yourself as you reached for the door handle. you weakly opened the door and walked right out. you didnt bother to check if anyone was in the hall, and to your luck, nobody was. you hadnt ever been in this part of the ship. it was extremely secluded- you could tell, but you started to let the force guide you. the connection with it was growing back within the second, and you were grateful once again.

your legs began to wobble, but you pushed through the pain. you limped for a good couple minutes until you smashed right into something. doing so caused you to lose your balance, but before you hit the ground, a pair of hands caught you.