Squire (Male x Male) (Wattys Shortlist 2021 & 2022)

Chapter 8 - The Butterfly Effect

A/N  Massive thank you to @fannypotters and @Keeshwar for all of your comments, love and support through this writing process.  You guys have kept me motivated and kept my spirits up.  Much love to you both xxx

Over the course of the next few days, not much changed. I had always feared that admitting certain aspects of myself out loud would result in my world shattering around me, but life continued almost as it normally would have. One exception was an occasion where I overheard one of the castle guards talking to Richard about an attractive maiden; Richard looked over to me and we shared a surreptitious knowing look.

We were, of course, able to converse liberally on the subject when alone together, but even then, we did not do it very much. So, I began to not only feel comfortable that someone else knew my secret, but also glad of it. It was reassuring to know that there was someone else like me, and that I could talk to them about it if I felt I needed to.

It was around two weeks later when I took a leave of absence for a day, mainly to visit my parents in Thain. We lunched together and I told them about my new life in the castle. They were happy for me, as I thought they would be. I introduced them to Nutmeg and my father made him some new horseshoes while we were there.

In the early afternoon I bid them goodbye, as I still had one more person I wanted to visit before returning to the castle.

"Sebastian!" called Sir Tristan as he saw me approaching with Nutmeg. I stopped near the stable where he met me. "This is a most pleasant surprise. Did you bring your flute?"

"Not this time," I responded, alighting the horse and tethering him securely. On his instruction, I followed Sir Tristan into the house I once viewed as home. Lily, his housekeeper, brought us each a slice of banana cake and a steaming mug of tea as we settled into his lounge.

"I apologise for not giving you notice of my visit," I said.

"Nonsense, Sebastian," he replied kindly. "It is always lovely to see you. So, how are you? Is everything still working out for you at the castle?"

"It is," I assured him. "Actually, I am partly here because there is ... something I wanted to ask you about."

"Of course," he smiled over at me. Nerves crept up on me as I thought about what to say next. I took a sip of tea to try to ease them.

"How long have you known?" I asked with a knotted stomach.

"Ah," he nodded slowly, facial expression changing to one of immediate comprehension. "Am I to understand you have had a somewhat illuminating conversation with Richard?"

I kept my guard up slightly, even though I knew Sir Tristan was kind and trustworthy. Perhaps out of habit, perhaps out of fear. Either way, I wanted my questions resolved before I answered his.

"How long have you known?" I implored, slightly more vehemently this time.

Sir Tristan sat back in his chair and brought his tea with him. He looked at me fondly, like a father might, despite being barely older than Richard.

"Do you remember, some two years ago, my mother sent word that she was having a small gathering for her birthday, and she wanted me to attend?" he asked, and I nodded. "The messenger that brought the letter was a handsome youth, not much older than yourself. The way you looked at him was like an angel had been sent from heaven itself. You caught yourself and looked away, and the blush that followed was so utterly endearing."

With some awkwardness, I remembered the young angel he spoke of. He had been slender, with golden brown hair and divine green eyes, and I had felt instantly attracted to him in a way that I had never felt about anyone before. That was possibly the moment I realised what I was. I had no idea Sir Tristan had seen it as well. Heat poured into my face.