Letter One

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Dear Oscar,

Spin the Bottle was where our confusions first came to light.
When your spin landed on me and everyone snorted and laughed.
Two boys kissing!
LOL!
What a laugh!

But you, never one to be shown up, leaned over for my lips.
And my heart, I think it stopped beating then.
Not because I liked you or was attracted to you in any way.
It was because I didn't think you'd do it. I thought you'd agree and call it gay. I thought you'd say no and I'd say no too. I thought we'd both groan and give a quick peck and sigh.

I thought this and that
and nothing right.

You were the one to kiss me first.

And I admit, I completely froze at that simple touch.
It was breathtaking, sublime, precious, splendid-
Every pretty word in the dictionary.
You had not been my first kiss.
No, that had been Phoebe.
But you were the first kiss that had made me feel something.
Something deep within my belly that wasn't like the source of my recent wet dreams.
It was so pure.

That kiss awakened this purity within me that I had no idea existed before.

How I wished that we could've kept that purity between the two of us.

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