{Chapter 18}

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-I recommend listening to 'As The World Caves In- during this chapter-

Yuri's Pov:

I have arrived at my hotel. It feels empty and cold without Victor with me. Even when we weren't a couple we would share the same room... but now I'm alone..

I feel my throat tighten again as sadness creeps over me but I can't have this. I need to stay hopeful. I need to stay strong for Victor. I need to win and show Victor his effort has not been for nothing.

I sit on the bed and grab my phone. I had been spotted at the airport with Yakov and with Victor nowhere to be seen so it is all over the news.

People speculating we broke up over his sickness. People thinking he doesn't want to come with me. Some articles even speculating he is dead..

It makes me sick, physically sick, that people guess and publish articles that aren't even remotely true. But I have no energy to bring out a statement against these things. I need to sleep..

The only thing I want to do is sleep and forget about everything. I'm nervous about tomorrow and not having Victor at my side just makes it worse.

But I hope he will be watching me... he probably will. And I hope I will make him proud. And next year he will just be at my side again. Hopefully even skating. I've always wanted to do a couple routine with him again. It was one of the most fun and the most beautiful things I have done with him..

That's next year. This year I have to focus on tomorrow. So, I take a shower and lay in my bed, staring out of the window of my hotel room as I try to find sleep.

Victor's Pov:

I'm laying in the hospital bed and I have to admit... I'm not feeling good at all. With Yuri leaving the country.. I feel like some part of me that is willing to fight against this disease... the last bit of strength.. left with him.

I promised to get better and of course I want to but I'm starting to lose hope. I feel like I can't do anything against this... this deathtrap anymore.

What..

What the hell am I doing here? Why... why am I not there with Yuri? On his side!

I sit up in the bed and look around the room, pushing the button to call the nurse. I explain what I want and she tries to stop me but I refuse. I shakily manage to call Yuri's sister who agrees to come with me and I get in the wheelchair. I really have lost the ability to walk easily.

Mari shows up and we immediately hurry to the airport. If we go now... I will be just in time for the last half hour of the competition!

-a couple hours later-

Yuri's Pov:

I am waiting in the hallway behind the ice rink. The first round went fine.. I doubt it will be good enough to beat the others.. and I don't want to look at their scores. It just makes me nervous for the last round..

I jog up and down a bit, listening to my music in an attempt to keep myself busy and warm. But my mind keeps getting distracted.. I think about Victor. He is probably watching. I'm almost positive. I wonder if he is proud... I kind of expected him to call me after I finished but I guess.. not. That is fine though. He is probably sleepy or something. He can always watch it afterwards if he misses it.

I also made a decision for myself. I am going to wait for Victor to heal before continuing the next season. And if that means I won't be able to participate in the next season than that is all fine. I want Victor to train me again. Watch me, support me.. I just want him to be healthy.

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