Heart of Gold • Finnick Odair

-23-

ROSALIE POV

The world is a cruel place.

My name is Rosalie May. My brother is dead. My crush is dead. My best friend is dead. The President forces me into prostitution by threatening my remaining family, Luna Clay.

I feel alone in the world. A world I desperately want to escape but can't.

It would be easy to stop. To give up. To end it all. But I can't, because then it would all be a waste.

If I died now, Ralph's death would've been a waste. If I die now, I'd break my promise to him to live. If I die now, I'd break my promise to Apollo to look after Luna. If I die now, President Coriolanus Snow would win and I can never let that happen. I will never let him win.

He can hurt me physically or mentally or emotionally, however he pleases, but I will never give up. No matter how hard he pushes me, whether he pushes me to my very limit, I will fight back stronger. I'll always get back up again because the second I let him win, my entire life as well as everyone else's I've loved would be a waste, their deaths would be meaningless.

Since I turned sixteen, I've learnt to become numb when I enter the Capitol, wearing a sweet smile. I had my own apartment there. Panem thinks it's a special apartment building for Victors when they come visit but really it's more like a prison for victors when we're forced to go there. I see Finnick there often.

This is how it usually goes. I arrive in the Capitol. Mikel fixes me up with makeup and an outfit to suit the occasion. Sometimes I accompany people to meals and/or events, other times it's straight to their apartment. I never bring anyone to my own apartment, it's my sanctuary. Finnick doesn't either. At first I was paid in cash but after some conversations between Finnick and I, we found a much better payment: secrets. Once they fall asleep, I leave. Mikel is always waiting outside for me. If i'm in an exhausted, drunk or other state that deems me unfit to care for myself, he'll accompany me upstairs to help me get ready for bed before leaving me to rest. Other times, I'll say goodbye at the car and head up to my apartment floor and into my room.

Often, I find Finnick in the hall. His floor is the one below mine so I see him on the way up the stairs (there isn't an elevator).

Depending on the states we're in, sometimes we'll talk, other times we just acknowledge each other's presences with a simple nod and possible smile.

Sometimes I arrive back at my room looking rather unpleasant. Wether my hair and makeup is a mess, or i'm bloody and bruised. Some clients are more demanding and forceful than others. It depends on the day.

Finnick Odair's best friend, Annie Cresta, won the 70th Hunger Games. She witnessed her district partner get beheaded and thus isolated herself for most of the games. The arena was flooded and she survived as she was the best swimmer but she suffered mental instability afterwards. She, along with Mags (his mentor and mother figure), were his loved ones Snow used to force him into prostitution. He consoled in me about how his parents had died. His father in a boating accident and his mother from disease. Mags had taken him in and practically raised him.

Annie had become a friend. I met her once when she was still a tribute. She's quiet but kind. She's ruled out of mentoring for obvious reasons.

The following year a girl from district 7 won, Johanna Mason. The next year, Finnick and I met her through mentoring and we easily befriended the sarcastic girl. She seemed a little intimidating at first but was actually a good person.

The only joy I found in life was the joy in Rue's face when I taught her the work whistle as a vocalisation because she struggled to whistle or when she'd see me walking up to her small house with a wide grin on her lips, my conversations with Finnick in the Capitol, and seeing Johanna at the games every year.

The next year, the 72nd Annual Hunger Games, Luna Clay was once again safe in the Reaping. The moment made me genuinely smile as Luna was now eighteen. That was her last reaping meaning she will live a long and happy (ish) life so long as I keeps up my end of the deal.

I'm always fascinated when Finnick tells me about his district, and vice versa. It's odd enough that two people from different districts are allowed to communicate amongst each other. Usually, victor or not, you never travel out of your district unless you're a tribute on your way to the Capitol or a Victor on your way to mentor. However, me and Finnick are exceptions. We are constantly being taken out of our home district and required in the Capitol. Constantly made to please and appeal to rich clients of Coriolanus.

Finnick tells me about the tinted green, salty bread (he brought me some the next time we were both in the Capitol and I can confirm it is absolutely delicious). He tells me how he loves swimming in the sea and running along the beach, fishing with his trident and tying knots for nets to sell. He showed me different knots to tie in the rope he carries in his pocket to fiddle with when his anxiety hits. He told me about his admiration for Mags who practically raised him, he'd do anything for that woman and it's completely understandable. She's incredible.

I tell him about living in my district. The hardships hidden under the beauty of it. The beautiful fields of crops, but we can't eat any of it unless you're sneaky enough to steal them. The herds of cattle, but you only get milk if you are lucky enough, or rich enough, to own one. Like Ralph, he never would've been able to afford one, the cow was his fathers which had been given as a gift. I tell him about the orchards, beautiful and tall. I mention the punishment for stealing, the whipping post. I tell him the good parts too, though I struggle to think of any. It mainly consisted of snippets of Apollo and Ralph who are now gone as well as Luna and Rue along with her family.

He had asked if i'd ever been sent to the whipping post. "Yeah, a lot actually. I had to steal for me and my family. It was easiest for me. I'd wear a big jacket and stuff fruit in the pockets 'cuz I worked high in the trees. But they do random checks sometimes. I'd get caught and whipped. When I came to the Capitol for my games, they had to give me a cream to apply to the scars on my back because they 'weren't suitable for the audience'," I scoff, mimicking a Capitol accent.

"Guess that's what it's like in the Capitol. They give the punishments but don't wanna see the consequences. The malnourishment and starvation, the scars and injuries."

We found sanctuary with each other in our apartment building where there weren't any cameras.

Finnick Odair became a safe haven of sorts. I'd confide in him, and vice vera. It was nice to be able to safely talk to someone who understands what's troubling your mind. Someone who shares your night terrors and true thoughts of the harsh reality that was their lives. Someone who was in the same predicament as yourself. I would never burden innocent Luna with this stuff, she'd only feel guilty as I'd volunteered in her place.

Finnick felt safe. When he'd embrace me after a bad evening I would feel as though no one could ever harm me as long as his arms were around me. Like a shield against the most powerful beings, even a snake such as Coriolanus Snow.