A Hundred Flashbacks

Sleep Issues

Recording my sleep means just an audio using an application at the very least. I never wished to go full extent of recording my sleep with camera. Not even when I'm paid to do it. No thanks. The app I used is named as Sleep Recorder. This will record voices and sounds preferably the snoring sounds. I don't snore as far as I know (update: now I know I do) but my sleep issues is way wider as the ocean. One of the big reason why I am sleeping alone for many years now.

Here's some issues I want you to know right now why I have been sleeping alone:

1. Sleep Talker
    - I am a sleep talker. Sleep talking is actually a sleep disorder known as somniloquy. Harmless, yet disturbing for your room mates. It makes me feel awkward a day after that a person will tease me of whatever this mouth is mumbling while sleeping. I mean what if I was speaking of something sexual isn't it embarrassing? Severity - worst; happens every time. Look, it might be not every night but recording myself alone while sleeping is a big NO NO! (I actually did - on April 23rd). 

    My sisters keep laughing about me when I was still living with them in the same roof and I totally hate it. It's embarrassing for real. My friends as well keep telling me that I've been talking too much and they response to whatever is the topic this sleeping guy would said. They also told me that I answered questions if they asked me while I'm sleeping. Most unconscious utterances are actually just brief or nonsensical. I remember when I was a kid, it was my sister's birthday the next day and I sleep talked while my mother hears me. I gave a two digit number which makes her won in the small lottery 2-digit play and bought a cake for her birthday. 

    As a kid it makes me so happy. The next night after I kept myself focus with digits and dream of it but the digits are getting too many described as an orange tree with full of fruits. Each fruit has a 2-digit number which makes it so hard to remember. 

2. Sleep Paralysis
- Nightmares, I am getting used to it. I woke up and forget. I don't really mind what's happening in my dreams. That's my golden rule to forget those kind of things. When nightmares are just bad dreams that right away awakens you, Sleep paralysis on the other hand won't wake you up right away. I could rate myself 80% mastery of waking myself alone if nightmares turn into Sleep Paralysis. Sleep Paralysis is a feeling of being unable to move either at the onset of sleep or upon wakening accompanied by hallucinations and intense fear.

It's funny to hear that some people experienced this only once or twice; some had never! Believe me or not, if I have it all documented, it's already a book with hundredths of pages. I used to be sleeping alone after my dormitory life. After then, I've been alone sleeping in my two-storey house for a year and I sold it since I bought it for flipping. Now while I'm waiting for the turn over of the condominium, I am renting on an exclusive Apartment in the vicinity of a hotel.

Due to this, I hate sleeping with somebody next to me since the more chances I get into sleep paralysis if there's someone beside or someone that could hear me 'that is as per my experiences of getting into it'. As for now, the best thing I could do to avoid it is to sleep on my side or in any position as long as not sleeping with my back. That's the main reason why my shoulders aren't balance. I hardly noticed these uneven shoulders of mine. My co-cadets during college keep telling me to lower my right shoulder during parades and formations because it's too visible. I went to the gym to fixed my posture. It's not easy. Speaking of what kind of sleep paralysis encounters I had, details in the following chapters. 

    3. Nightmares. 

- Nightmares usually happen to me though not all of the time partnered with scary ghosts or something. Sometimes it's a setting of somebody chasing you or punching someone in a very slow-motion way, falling of the cliff, or even flying to escape from monsters or any kind of demons in my sleep! For sure you experienced as well those things I've mentioned. They're pretty common. While people are making definition of this kind of dreams, I, don't give a ****. 

I am not a fan of horror movies, or fantasy tv shows, nor Sci-Fi, no - not me. I don't watch movies unless brought by a known friend. Nightmare is defined as a disturbing dream associated with negative feelings, such as anxiety or fear that awakens you. Very common to Filipino children since we have a different types of tales told by our ancestors which still up to date was perceived true while other countries only have Aliens and Vampires, quite classy I would say. Frightening the kids of ghosts for them to stay at home or to stop them from crying  makes this kid frightened easily. Just stating an example of a pure toxic culture. Seriously, stop doing that to your kids!

Nightmares, I am so used to it. You can name many, I can tell what it is and how I counter them. I punched (literally) ghost and demons in my nightmares. I've been battling with them in my dreams. Punching in dreams actually give a very slow-motion movement to the subject. How intensifying it is usually when a thief is coming after you and your motion is ten times slower than normal. It's so slow that I hate it. The number of times of these events have brought myself in reality. I couldn't punch someone. Believe me. On actual settings of real life, my fists have no power at all. Even I get mad into something, my punch holds me back. I  can't barely open a bottled water. As if in my dream, I can't land a hit. I lose control over that circumstances. There's no way I could make my fists hard at times. When I hold it in close position, it trembles. My real life is so much affected with my dreams. I could name many. 

    4. Deep Sleep
    - Exactly, I wake up if I want to. Having somebody next to you, movements in your room is quite disturbing. We'll my parents know not to wake me up even the breakfast is ready when at home. Guys, people have different circadian rhythm. Google it. 

    Sleeping next to somebody is something I am not comfortable, at all. It's hard to sleep. If people tend to know me, I do have a strict personality, and cuddles and hugs and those kind of stuffs ain't working on me. Guys seriously, sleeping next to someone is something for married people only. So if you are on my bed and we are not married, you are seriously just disturbing my bedtime. Sleeping to other's home is also not my thing, unless having good old friends for the night. It's just that, motion transfer keeps me awake! I as well have a big trust issues and I couldn't sleep with somebody I never knew. 

    5. Sleep Walker
    - I remember many times since I was a kid. I just woke up to a place where I'm out of the bed or far away where I slept. I sometimes found myself in the different room or I woke up in the different place. My youngest sister do the same. As I'm getting older, I experienced this thing lesser than it was before. Maybe I'm heavy now that my subconscious mind can't anymore move my muscles. lel

    6. Bruxism
    - Bruxism or gnashing of teeth 'while sleeping'. If you happens to grind your teeth next to a Filipino somebody, you will be awaken by a slap of a dirty slipper right on your face! While some says you're calling the forces of evil or so. Scientifically, Bruxism occurs when you are stress, and also varies with the alignment of your teeth. While most people aren't aware that they're grinding their teeth since they're sleeping, I am so much aware of it that I knew how to do it even when I'm awake! Stage and severity - SEVERE.
    This is the top reason why I can't sleep with anybody else. I once slept in a Dormitory for seafarers. It was like 8 double-deck beds in a single room. There where seven people at that time and I just wanted to try sleeping in that place because it has swimming pool in it. Amazingly my friend wake me up because everybody is wide awake and can't sleep because I've been grinding my teeth all night long! After that I never sleep back again.
    Although teeth grinding can be caused by stress and anxiety, it often occurs during sleep and is more likely caused by an abnormal bite or missing or crooked teeth. It can also be caused by a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea.
    Here's a little overview about myths of 'teeth grinding' in the Philippines. One says, if a person grind its teeth on their sleep, they are cursing someone. Wishing the death of somebody or an anger that never ease yet. Some also says that you are calling the forces of evil spirits around the place. Others says that a slap of sleeper has to be done when someone grinds their teeth so that the cursed of teeth grinding will stop and I've experienced this too! Who wished to a get slap in your face? Nobody! How much more to a sleeping person to be slap for no valid reason? I hate you people. 
    After reading this issues you might end up with a conclusion that "This guy is depressed and always stressed out" if you are basing scientifically. If you are a man of myths then you might say that my life is in so much pain. I'll let you know which of you is correct.

    Here's what happened on that day. 

NEXT: THE IMAGINARY FRIEND