A Hundred Flashbacks

I, Sid

It all started before I went to college. Life wasn't easy when all of us went to school and the eldest don't have any work yet since she just graduated. Father don't have that much of hope from me because I don't study as hard as my sister Chin and I was only on top of the class when it comes to computer games and spontaneous ideas.

My father called me to go with him on the farm and it was two days before the said date of travel going to the said school to take scholarship exam. I never knew when we will be coming back from the farm. It might be he forget about the examination or he chose to forget since he has no money to send me in. As I came to him, he saw my desperate and miserable face.

A night before that I was at the back of our house near down the river with cornfields that was recently harvested that time and so the area was clear with lands plowed by a water buffalo. The stars are of plain sight with the sound of the rustling waters where a hundred-meter away an irrigation dam is allocated. I sat down there watching the stars hoping it watched over me and my wishful thinking. I remember myself watching the bright sky as i see myself crying beneath the heaven and earth. On the other side of the river was at the back of a college school which was also said to be an old cemetery. There's this cow right there knotted on a mango tree and right beneath the tree on my vague sight was a dark and white shadow figures.

I'll never judge of what they are. If they are good or bad. I don't care. I need the exam so badly. I focused and centered myself watching over my stars. Who knows if they were there to help me? They comfort me in many ways and I'm too connected to them like nobody else. At that moment of time I was not afraid. Apparently, I knew that this river were taking lives of many at least once a year. Its connecting bridge was a home of bizarre accidents. I can't mention since there's too many. There was also a hanging bridge here were my sister had unintentionally taken a photo of this white lady figure. In the said river, swimmer or not they will drown even in its shallow places. Many people believed that Japanese soldiers were thrown on this river during the World War II and that golds are deposited from place to place since 1940's. My father accidentally took a photo of a ghost soldier once face to face! Yes, they love selfies too!

The day has arrived. As he called me to get ready to go to the farm, he saw how dismayed I am. Like a lifeless kid that loses hope in a single minute. Everything changed when he said, "Don't worry, we will go because I sold our cow so you have money with you for the exam". I was so happy. I got those teary eyes truly. My stars heard me. Thank God! My mother was there watching me as well. She was the one who convinced my father to tell the news when she saw my miserable face lol.

Many things happened after. To make the long story short, I passed the entranced examination while half of us never make it. The first shipping company came in. It was a Japanese company and sadly I never passed but my high school friend did. I never felt happy at all when he passed since I failed. I was worried about myself and not among others. It's not being selfish. It's being a person experiencing a vastness of fear for his future and his family.

After the result telling who failed and passed, I right away went to this cliff meters away from the room where we took the exam and interview searching for my stars again even though it's not yet night time. Cried thinking of not making it. If I won't pass the said scholarship I should stop going to college since my sister Chin is doing good in study then my parents should push on her and not me for budget's sake.

Here comes the next company. The company that operates the world's largest and most sophisticated fleet of chemical and parcel tankers – there I belonged. I was destined to be there. I have seen through it the moment I saw the Manning Manager together with his Training Manager – there was this strong connection and I felt it through my bones. I was destined to be on one of the best company most students wanted to be. This is a lifetime opportunity and so from there I took everything, 'seriously'. 

Next: I, Sid II