A Hundred Flashbacks

Tangible Soul

I didn't feel pain anymore. I can't feel anything. This form is different than what astral body does. Astral projections easily snapped your astral form back to your physical body when you want to and when it want to. Then you'll be awake. In this case it's different. I can't snap back. Nothing pulls me back to my body. It was a form of a good tangible soul! 

Your soul is an ethereal counterpart to your human form that is infused throughout every cell of your body. The soul is your higher self and mirrors much of your personality; in other words, even after your soul leaves your human form after death, you are still you!

Yes it is still me and how I badly wanted that body back was me. That's my body right there. Sleeping, wrapped up in a huge comforter of the bed. I saw my body locked with the comforter up to my neck. I felt sad looking at myself. This guy was just afraid. He covered himself in blanket because he was afraid and it made him unable to  moved. 

I looked over the room, there was no one other than the my physical form and my soul. The door is closed. The feeling of someone choking me was the comforter. I can't move because I'm stuck in place. Is this it? Is this how it all ends?

I can see nothing but acceptance. There's an absence of fear. I've been telling myself countless times that I'll die this way and yet it happened. Loveless, empty, cold and insatiable. The way my face lift, no signs of breathing, no signs of beating, my body is really dead. How depressing I ended up that way but I didn't cry. It's something I expected long long time ago. My thoughts ran so fast as I was looking down to myself. 

The experienced is terrifying. A less hope on this soul trying at least to  make his body wake up. It's melodrama but it's happening. My body is positioned facing the wall on the left. I've faced that wall because something starts appearing on my sight. I've watched it every second. Getting the idea for leaving the room so I can ask for help by any means possible! There's no tunnel or something light above my head or somewhere that some people have said who have experienced death and came back to life. Maybe I still got a chance since I didn't let go! So I left my body and made a walk outside. Hoping for this single soul to catch some help by all means and surprisingly as I step outside, the earth was RED. 

Like the color of Planet Mars if you google it but it really is red. There is this red mists that covers the earth's atmosphere. I'm pretty sure this isn't hell because it's not hot. It's just the environment. It is RED. it's not the color of the blood though but yeah, it's red. 

Googled it. 

"The red earth means it is an allegorical representation that at this time your life is a little rampant, so you must seek a harmony between your duties and your pleasure". 

Maybe it is but this is not how i saw it. I saw it as a representation of how worst the present pandemic have and will become. The air is thin. The gravity is really different. I walked around and remembered that my place is just near the hospital. I just walked. I never had a feeling of urgency and I don't know why. Was it acceptance to what I become? But I still go. 

I noticed a person or two along the road. How I see them is different. Everything here is different.They walked slow. While I was like a thin air. Was it a person or also a soul. I can see no faces and they almost looked like me. They never saw me. I passed by to  a dog. It didn't barked at me but we exchanged eye sights. It really have seen through me. 

I remembered my uncle, my father's brother who died from cancer. Before he died, he said he had a dream where he thought was real as he was still on the hospital the day before he died.  He visited his family of his own. It was night time and on his way home, there were lots of dogs across the street since the place were for settlers. All dogs barked and howl at him. He arrived on his home and knocked on its door as if everything is normal. Nobody opened the door and that ends what he said. When he woke up and tell the tale to his wife, his wife was shocked because that night, all dogs where howling and barking in front of their house and they heard a knock on the front door. It's his soul partly separated from his body and it wasn't just a dream. He died a day after. Rest in peace my dear uncle. 

When you're near to death you can sensed it. It flashes through your eyes and everything go slow. Like how I sensed everything before my last sleep. I sensed it was coming and just give it a go. So it left me. I should have fight. I should have told my parents and so I can hear them and they can hear my struggles for years. I should have repented and ask for forgiveness. I should have told my parents that I love them. I never have done that in my entire life. But this are the thoughts of me as I am writing. When I was there, I was really empty. Its shallow. Like you forget everything. No worries, pain, agony, uneasiness, and all those kinds of feelings. I don't remember or recall my pasts almost. I can't name any person. I was like free. It's freedom!

I continued walking down the road. I saw no chances of someone that could helped me. It's too late for prayers. It's too late for everything. There were so many things happened after that which I knew for sure is equivalent to a book. I actually titled it the Red Planet. A book I will soon published if I regain those memories. It took me to the present and to the future. I knew someday it will come back to my memories. If it flashes back I will put it in writing. I promised. 

I could make a made up story about what could happen next but this whole story will put to waste. I wrote what really happened and that's it. So, when you are on that dimension or whatever you call it, time is very fast. Like how your brain interprets information in one single click.  What I only remember is how I came back to life. 

NEXT: RESURRECTION