Now I See You // Jikook // ⚠18+⚠

*29*

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Song recommendations: If the World Was Ending- JP Saxe/Julia Michaels
                                                    If I Ain't Got You- Caravn/ Valentin
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He loved him.
Jungkook loved him.
There was nothing else in his mind.

Not the make out session with Taemin that had gone so terribly wrong, causing him a full-blown panic attack.
Not the memories of that night with Han-Gyeol, mixing together with the woman with the red lipstick and those men raping him.
Not the hazy moments, trembling hands when he had taken out the pocket knife, only knowing he needed to lesson the pain- to make the voices stop.

Jungkook loved him.

He was here, holding him, caressing his face gently and with so much warmth and love in his eyes.

Jungkook loved him.

Nothing else mattered: not the question about Lisa, not the video, not even the smell of blood, vomit and alcohol surrounding them.
Jungkook loved him.

He rocked his body forward.
Jungkook caught him, pulling him close into his warmth, wrapping those strong arms around him and holding his head close to his chest, right over his heart.

Thumb-thumb.
Beating. Loving him. That beautiful, glorious heart.

Thumb-thumb.
His Jungkook. His dove. He came.
He'd come for him. He wasn't alone.

For the first time since a month, he took a long, satisfying breath.
He was home. He was finally home again. 

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, Jungkook whispering against his ear, telling him he cared, that he loved him, that he was worth it, chasing away the demons with every soft spoken word.
Jungkook was his cure.
His antidote to what Han-Gyeol had put him through all these years.
When he was with him, everything went away and he felt nothing but safe and happy.
He knew it would return once the younger was out of his sight, but for now it didn't matter. Right now, he was safe. 

"Okay. Let's get you cleaned up, precious." They young boy whispered, pulling away but keeping his arms around him.
 
With shaky legs, Jungkook pulled him up and helped him over to the sink.
Despite having the taller support him, he felt incredibly weak and unsteady, the floor like water beneath him.  

He saw Jungkook looking down at his wrist and arms with a paling face. 
They were deep. 

And since Jimin had been too lost- too far gone in his trauma, he hadn't bothered to take off the bracelet and keep the cuts in one place to make them easier to hide.
They were all over the inside of his arm now, long and still bleeding.
The sting of them send tears to his eyes. 

His throat was thick and clogged as he breathed: "I'm sorry Jungkook. I'm sorry I broke my promise again." 

"Shh" the other shushed him, patting his head and kissing his forehead, not caring about the blood, sweat and tears. 
"It's all right, my love. I'm here now. I'll take care of you. We'll get through this- together."

Together. 
A little bit of reality set in. 

The video... Lisa... his parents finding out and sending him far away... 
All of it was still there- still driving them apart. But right now he didn't have the strength to pull back or push him away. 

He watched as Jungkook took a towel, put hot water over it and slowly helped him clean the wounds. He tried not to hiss at the pain, but couldn't help the whimper escaping him. 
"I'm sorry. It'll get better soon, precious." 

He shook his head.
Jungkook had no right to apologize.
He had done nothing wrong.
It was his fault yet again. 

Always his decisions that led to all the pain and suffering in both their lives.
But he kept that to himself, letting Jungkook finish wiping the blood away. 

He went on to his face, a hand around his waist to keep him steady and close. 
His scent was filling his nose, driving away the disgust of his puke and blood.