Goku x Vegeta yaoi/smut

You are not alone

Sorry! The warning from the last chapter (Before the A/N) is supposed to be for this one. Also, so sorry for not posting!

Not a word was spoken between the two during dinner. Goku was a little upset that vegeta didn't feel he could tell him. It wasn't like he was gonna get mad at him or anything. Vegeta on the other hand was scared. He was scared to go into that memory that kept repeating. That mistake. That nightmare. That traumatizing moment that changed his life. Always playing at the back of his mind reminding him.

The time for bed came and goku was waiting in the room. Vegeta hadn't come out of the bathroom yet. 'What could he be doing in there?' Goku went up to the bathroom door and gently knocked on it. No response. He put his ear up to the door and knocked again. No response.

Now he was worrying. He banged his fist to the door and he heard glass shattering and muffled thudding on the other side.

He reached for the door knob and tried to open the door but it was locked. He kicked down the door and vegeta was no where in sight. Goku saw a note on the sink counter that looked important. He quickly grabbed it and shoved it between his sash and pants. He looked at the a now broken window to see blood. He climbed onto the toilet and looked out to see vegeta running as if his life depended on it.

Goku quickly jumped out of the window and ran after vegeta. 'Why does vegeta have to be so fast?!' Vegeta was faster than goku but had a little less stamina. After half an hour of running, vegeta started slowing down and panting heavily.

A couple minutes later he started stumbling until finally tripped over himself and fell. He didn't have the strength pull himself up but did that stop him? Hell no. He got up only to be tackled down by goku.

"Will you stop running?!" Vegeta turned his head sitching his gaze to the green grass beside him. "Look at me.."

Vegeta didn't look at him but instead turned his gaze further away hiding his face in the grass.

"Look at me! Please.." goku took his thumb and index finger to vegeta's chin to gently face him. Goku remember the note from the bathroom and took it out of his pocket. As soon as he did vegeta's eyes widened and filled with tears. He squirmed and wiggled to try and escape but goku was too heavy. Goku finally understood. This note was a suicide letter. He looked up and realized he was right in front of a cliff...

He looked down at vegeta who was still squirming and refusing to look at goku's look of hurt."Vegeta.." Goku's voice was cracking and was barely above a whisper due to his crying. His voice soon turned to sadness that was enveloped with anger.

"Don't you ever think about quitting! Because I will never forgive myself for not being there for you and I will never forgive you for leaving me!" He placed a hand on vegeta's check and turned him to face him once again. "Look at me when I tell you this; You are going to make it. You are going to do great. You are going to be okay.." A tear fell from each if his eyes and landed on vegeta's now rosie cheeks.

The cool night air was so cold they could see their breaths. The cold filling their lungs and exiting before filling again."So don't you dare.. give up.. we can talk about what your feeling."

Now all of vegeta's emotion was pouring out. He was sad, angry, confused, and scared all at the same time. What if goku didn't believe him and left? What if he wasn't good enough and goku was just saying it? But goku wouldn't do something like that!...Right..?

Vegeta took a deep breath whilst gritting his teeth and tears still running down his face. "You wanna know how I feel?! I feel worthless! I never stop hurting unless I'm around you and even then I feel like I'm bothering you! My life means nothing to me! I lose all hope when I'm alone..! It's always hard for me to show any for of emotion! I'm always lost in the moment. My love for life ran out until you came into it! I wish I was perfect... because that's what you deserve. But I don't! I deserve to suffer alone..! I may look strong but believe me I'm tired. I just wanna let it go.."

Goku brought vegeta close and whispered in his ear. "Letting go doesn't mean you stop caring. And it doesn't mean I stop either. I will always love you and will never stop. I promise." He kissed vegeta's cheek.

"..I love you so much kakarot...even if I don't show it.." Goku got up taking vegeta with him. He wrapped vegeta's legs around his waist and carried the now sleeping prince to their bedroom.

Goku decided not to use instant transmission because he knew the swaying motion helped calm vegeta.

He gently tucked vegeta into bed and quickly vegeta wrapped his body around goku. With his face in vegeta's chest goku murmured his last few words before falling asleep.

"I love you"

Kind of long chapter. Hope this makes up for me not posting so much.