Addiction

Chapter 27- comfort

　　　　　　　　「 Harry 」

Sitting in the chair outside his room. I stay tense.

He's gone.

He's gone.

Hans and I knew each other since high school. Sure we were bickering from time to time, but we were like brothers.

He was my brother.

My hand curls in a tight fist.

That mother fucker will get what he deserves.

I hear small footsteps, but I don't bother looking up before my eyes land on her plain white shoes, I know exactly who it is.

I stand up fast before pulling her in my embrace. Embrace that makes me relax. Her hugs always seem to help with anything.

It's like she got this curse over me. I can't function with out her. I need her. It's like we need air. I need her like that.

I love her.

I love her so much.

She's an addiction.

She stays quiet, just having her small arms around my torso and I hear her sniff.

She's crying.

My eyes start to water, but I don't let them fall before I pull away leaning down, cupping her face. Looking at her.

"What happened?" my heart drops. She doesn't know.

Hans and them were quite close. He would always buy her ice cream when he knew she was coming over or some shit. They also always played PlayStation together.

I clench my jaw, closing my eyes before stepping away from her, turning around running a hand through my messy hair.

I turn around again to look at her worried eyes.

"Camila, it's Hans" I start lowly, my voice raspy and she tilts her head. I feel her become tense.

"He's- he's gone" I whisper the last word like it's a stab to my heart. She doesn't say anything for the longest time before she breathes out.

"No!" she shakes her head desperately. Tears running down her rosy cheeks. Before saying calmly, "No"

She looks up at me before colliding into me. My hands immediately wrapping around her and she sniff.

"I'm sorry, Harry" she says muffled against my chest and my body aches. Why is she apologizing?

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask, rubbing her back and she pulls her head back, looking up at me with her glossy eyes.

"I knew you two were close. I'm so sorry, you don't deserve this" she rushes while taking her hands griping the front of my shirt in a fist, trying to pull me closer and I press her against me more.

"I'm here for you" she murmurs against me. "I'm always gonna be here for you"

What would I do without her?

"Let's sit down" she whispers and I nod sitting in my previous spot. Mila is about to take the seat beside me, but I pull her with me, on my lap so she's facing me and I pull her in for another hug. Just needing her.

Her arms wrap around my neck before her hand goes up to my hair, playing with it making me almost fall asleep.

I shove my hand under her sweatshirt, rubbing her bare back and she sighs into me.

I shouldn't become so close to her.

It'll only hurt more in the end.

It's like every time I think about it, I tell myself to just do it. But when I see her. When I'm with her, it's impossible to even think about.

I can't do this to a innocent soul.

There's a comforting silence between us. The type where you don't have to talk to know they're here for you.

I remember when my little sister died.

I had no one. I had no one to turn to. I had no one to pull me over the water.

I remember becoming the worst version of myself.

But when I'm with her. I wanna be the best version of myself, she pushes me to be better without knowing it.

"Are you hungry?" Mila whispers. I realize I haven't ate anything and I sigh.

"Are you?" I ask and she pulls away to look at me. My hands still under her sweatshirt and she nods.

"I'll go to-" I start but she's quick to cut me off.

"No stay. I'll buy something" she glares at me for saying I'll go and I tilt my head like she does.

"Do you even know your way around?" I ask and then she looks down.

"Yeah... This is the hospital my grandma died in" she traces her finger on my tattoo that's on my arm while talking softly.

"I'm sorry Camila" I try to say as softly as her but I fail. She gives me a weak smile before standing up.

"Be careful" she walks away and here I am alone again.

I need her comfort.

I just need her.

She's my person.

All my worries goes away the second I see her.

You feel right so stay a sec.

~~~

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