That's Not Me

Off the Grid

Los Angeles, California

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

They said Los Angeles is the city where dreams come true. Where you can be anything. Many people from all over the country, all over the world to come try their luck and make it to the big screen. I was one of those dreamers. The only good thing about my situation is, I didn't have to pack my stuff and move. I'm L.A born and raise so I mean, I guess I didn't have to worry about anything besides trying to make a name for myself.

That's why, as I sit here with one foot on either side of the ledge, looking down from twelve stories above the streets of Burbank, I can't help but think about my life. Here I was, 21 years of age trying to figure out if I should keep dreaming.

Do people who move all the way to this one city ever regret it? In that moment when they pack their bags and when they get rejected from record labels or from an audition. I mean there has to be a little bit of remorse right. Do they ever think 'welp, shit that was a bad idea'.

I think about rejection a lot. Especially today, considering I just—12 hours earlier auditioned for Majesty Records, and might I add it was the best performance anyone has ever given. Okay fine, maybe it wasn't the most epic per se, but it wasn't disastrous. Don't get me wrong, the performance i gave wasn't profound enough to make history like, the beetles or Beyoncé but it was epic. Still... what goes through other peoples mind when they get rejected. Do they keep trying? do they give up?... Or do they sit on top of a roof and reevaluate their life choices.

As soon as I got the call that they had rejected me, I hijacked the first roof I could find. Not because I was feeling depressed enough to end it all, No. I have no plans to scale off this roof. I just really needed fresh air and silence and dammit if I can't get it from my third floor apartment with absolutely no rooftop access.

I took a deep breath, the soft wind blowing a few strands of hair off my face. The night sky looked beautiful when the L.A smog wasn't covering the stars. I mean it, today wasn't so bad when the night sky is clear enough to literally feel the grandeur of the universe. I love it when the sky makes me feel insignificant. I like tonight.

But unfortunately for me, my phone started to buzz bringing me back down to reality. I looked at the bright screen that showed a picture of my best friend Selena indicating that she was calling.

"What do you want Gomez." I sighed, leaning my head back against the wall behind me.

"I heard about what happened at the studio. How are you feeling (y/n)" Selena said sincerely. I always hated how nice and caring Selena was. I could never be mad when I talked to her.

"I'm fine. It's not my first time getting rejected from a record label so I mean... ehh nothing I'm not use too." I laughed a bit trying to lighten up the mood.

"It's okay to be hurt about it (y/n)" she said sadly. I think she was taking it harder then I was. "(Y/N), i know you have way more talent than half the celebrities in LA. Record labels must not have an eye for talent if they chose to let you go"

"It's fine really. I'm fine"

"Listen, Ariana, Zendaya and I have been talking and we decided to help you" Selena said cheerfully and for some reason that made my stomach turn. In a bad way. One thing about Selena that I hated... she is always plotting. Always trying help everyone. Such a good person.