That's Not Me

A lullaby and A Melody

Hailee P.O.V

Am I just a terrible person?

I can't seem to do anything right when I'm with (y/n). I always seem to mess up in some way, even if I try really hard. I do. I didn't even mean to hurt her. I didn't mean to do anything. It's just, the song she wrote. The lyrics and how the words just flowed smoothly. I mean (y/n) did hand me the notebook to look at her songs, and there it was. I couldn't just look away. It was like my eyes and hands were glued to the notebook. And it was song for me. Literally.

But the way she looked when she took the book back. It was like I was caught reading her secret diary. Her eyes were scared and panicked... hurt, almost. I could literally feel her shaking when she sat on me for that short few seconds before she left.

"You just don't learn, Hailee" I heard Selena's voice approaching me. The anger and coldness are there, but I don't care. Her words have no effect on me, though I know that it should.

I sighed, standing back onto my feet and dusting myself off. Yup, Ariana, Zendaya, and Selena have their arms crossed looking at me like I just killed their puppy. I tried to walk forward to leave but Selena just stood in front of me blocking my way.

"Move Gomez, I'm not in the mood" I say glaring at her.

"I'm sure. This is what's going to happen. You... you just stay away. I will help (y/n) with the song and when we are done, I'll send it to you and then you can go to your fancy studio and record it. Saves (y/n) the trouble from dealing with you" Selena said spitting her words out like venom. She talked soft so Ariana, and Zendaya would hear as much.

"(Y/n) and I will work on the song. That won't change."

"You don't know what you want from y/n, what's done is done"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, don't take advantage of work just to approach her. (Y/n) is actually taking this seriously. This means more to her then it does to you."

"Stop making everything sound like a declaration of war." I say through gritted teeth. "What? Are you going to confess how you feel about (y/n). Look Gomez, not that its any of your business but I love Y/n very much. You think you can beat me on that?"

"The rule is we play a fair game and get the fair result. But im still not in the game" Selena walks closer to me, our faces mere inches apart. "Never ever hurt her because of your love"

"The only thing im doing is protecting her. Now if you excuse me" I said, brushing my shoulder against hers. I kept my tone calm or at least I tried, but there was still bitterness.

It was so frustrating. I don't want to give Selena a reason to tell (y/n) my secret, but at the same time I have to figure out how I can approach this without making it worse.

I'm doing this to protect her and also myself.

I know this sounds like an excuse, or something to make me feel less guilty.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I laid down in bed staring down into the ceiling. I texted (y/n) many times but since it was me texting she hasn't responded, nor did she attempt to open the messages. My only choice.

I was about to give in and reach for my other phone, but then it rang. I raised a brow and picked up the phone, seeing a message from (y/n). My anxiousness settled knowing she was okay, and I was finally able to let out a breath of relief.