That's Not Me

Little Did I Know

Y/N's P.O.V

Staring up at my ceiling I realized, no matter how hard I tried to sleep, I just couldn't seem to stay asleep. I let out a frustrating sigh, turning to my alarm clock. Sure enough it was still way too late and way too early. 3:00 am. The witching hour.

When I was little I thought that the witching hour was the time ghost and demons came out, trying to scar you. When the paranormal happened. But the older I got, I learned that it was true. Demons were out to get you, only, the demons were your own thoughts. The dark thoughts you try so hard to get rid of, but it only takes a hold of you until you're left to wonder. Wonder alone, in the darkness of your thoughts to the point where you would do anything to get rid of them. 

Anything.

I got out of my bed and walked towards my bathroom, splashing water on my face. I looked back at my reflection, seeing just how tired I was. Ashen, with bags underneath my eyes. Eyes dull and lifeless. I try to muster up a smile, but it doesn't stay up. I let out a long sigh, opening up my medicine cabinet behind the small side mirror, and grabbed my pill bottle of Doxepin. I decided 2 was enough to help me feel nothing, and allow me some form of sleep. I rested my hands on the sink counter dropping my head. I hated how I had to rely on medication to help me sleep. It was either this or feeling a different type of pain. One more physical, and my leg was still sore from last time.

Still, as I walk back to my bed I couldn't help but think. Always thinking. It happens like most night. Overwhelmed by things I wished I didn't have to think about.

 I looked at my contract for Rocque Records. They really wanted me to sign with them. Finally my dreams were coming true, and everything I worked for was finally being recognized. But, why wasn't I happy about it. This was what I wanted, right in my finger tips, and all I had to do was sign my name on the dotted line. But... 

Once I did that... what would happened?

I see the moonlight hit my bracelet casting a shadow on the paper. The shadow of my arm with a four leaf clover dangling was the only thing my eyes focused on. 15 years of having this leather band on my wrist and I never once took it off.

Tell me Lee, if I sign this contract... I mumbled out. Will I finally be happy.... 

I laid back onto my bed, placing the papers on top of me. My eyes stayed locked onto the ceiling that was barley visible thanks to the moonlight that crept through the curtains.

 Lee... can you take me far away from here. Somewhere I can finally be able to have some peace of mind. To be able to sleep with nothing, but happy dreams.

_________FlashBack_______

"Hay...Lee" I turn my attention to the older girl next to me. She was inches from my face, pronouncing her name very slowly and carefully.

"Ay...lee" i said, trying to match her pronunciation. "Ims saying it. Ay...lee That's your name". I smiled.

"No, (y/n) It's Hailee Hhhhhaaaa" she started huffing her H. "Like Hey.... And Lee... Hailee" once more she tried to break it down. I nodded and tried one more time.