Letters On Our Skin || BangChan

47

"Are you sure you need six pairs of shoes?" I stare at the piles of clothes on Hyunjin's bed. The camera in my hand is pointed at Hyunjin's clothes, dutifully recording everything I see. "You know we're only gone fore like a week."
He stands beside me, both his hands stemmed on his hips, and nods slowly.
"You're right," he says and narrows his eyebrows, "That's seven days. I need another pair."
I stare at him flabbergasted. "That's not what I meant at all."
Hyunjin doesn't listen, though. He has turned away and rummages through his closet searching for another pair of shoes.
I leave his room.
Like all the other boys, he has procrastinated packing for the trip until the very last day. We're literally leaving tomorrow morning and none of the boys have even remotely finished packing.

What I told them is the following:
I am filming a dance video for the channel and I need your help.
We'll be going to Jeju by bus, pack for about a week.
Yes, your managers can come.
Yes, you'll need sunscreen.
See it as a sort of break from your usual work schedule.

I was so worried.
Worried they'd ask too many questions, the sort I wouldn't be able to answer without revealing my secret.
Why are we going to an island? What could you possibly only find there that you wouldn't find in Seoul?
The beach.
That is my literal reason, but revealing it would be flying too close to the sun.
Chan and Felix love the beach. Chan talks about it all the time, with this kind of sad, longing expression on his face. Like it's something he lost a long time ago and can't really remember completely.
The beach is only one part of the surprise.
It's only a part of what he connects with home.

The bigger part, of course, is his family.
Family Bahng and Family Lee will hopefully arrive at the villa tonight, and wait for us to arrive tomorrow noon.
I've been tracking their flights all day, checking in with Hannah and Olivia. I want to make sure they're completely comfortable.
Hannah texted me last night, saying they've boarded the plane. I hadn't known how long it takes to fly from Australia to Korea, almost a whole day with overlay and changing planes. I felt so bad when I saw how long the journey would be, but both the Lee family and the Bahng family assured me it was something they'd gladly do if it meant they'd see their kids again.

As I leave Hyunjin's room and wander into the kitchen, I overthink the situation again.
The bus will pick all of us up tomorrow morning at nine o'clock sharp. The drive will take around two to three hours, considering traffic, rest stop break, and the ferry taking us to the actual island.
Maybe going to the island was too much. I should've just asked the families to come to Seoul.
It would make a lot of things easier. Simpler. Less complicated to plan through.
Though, in my heart I know it's the right decision.
I wanted this to be a break for not only Chan and Felix, but all of Stray Kids. A small get-away. A chance to take a breath. Relax.
They wouldn't be able to get away from the stress and deadlines work provides if they had stayed in Seoul. They needed to get out of the city.
What I haven't told them, is that I don't plan on staying the whole time.
I only packed enough clothes for two nights on Jeju, if at all. I might only stay one night, after all.
This is a holiday for the boys, for Chan and Felix and their families. I am not a part of that. It's family time.
I'll be leaving and they'll be staying, so they can really enjoy the time with their families in a villa on the beach.
I really hope they will.

I open a water bottle, cold and fresh from the fridge, and take a few sips. My small suitcase by the door almost looks lonely. I record it for a moment, before Jisung trots into the kitchen, a fluffy white headband in his hair.
"Do I need to bring an extra pillow?"
I shrug and point the camera at him. "I don't know. I think they'll have pillows at the hotel."
I haven't told them we'll be staying in a remote villa directly at the beach. They think we'll be staying in some random hotel close to the Harbour.
"Right," Jisung thinks for a moment, "I'm still going to bring one. Just in case."
I chuckle. They pack like they've never been away before.
With a jolt I realize they haven't. At least not in the past two years. The pandemic has relayed and canceled all tours and holiday plans.
"You could bring it for the bus," I suggest and his eyes widen.
He grins, turning and yelling down the hallway, "Changbin-hyung! Will you bring your neck pillow?"
"Yah!" Changbin's voice is muffled, coming from somewhere down the hall. "I have two, do you want one?"
Jisung turns back to me and places his right pointer finger against my nose, before turning away wordlessly, no doubt to pick up his borrowed neck pillow from Changbin.

I sigh, turn the camera off, and lean back. There's excitement in the air, but all I think about is the plan. And the fact that I'm losing JYP Entertainment thousands of dollars should this plan not work for some reason.
But it will work.
I've been planning this meticulously for weeks, going over every single detail ten times at least. Everything will work out just as I have wanted.
I check my phone, but neither Hannah, Olivia, nor Rachel have texted me any updates.
"What you doing?" Chan appears in the door, leaning casually against the frame with his shoulder.
"Just checking my Instagram," the lie comes out fluently and causally. "What are you doing?"
He comes into the kitchen and leans against the counter next to me, taking my bottle and unscrewing the top.
"Just checking on you," he takes a sip from my bottle, "I'm done packing."
"You're the only one in this house, then." I giggle and look away. Chan looks deliciously handsome today.
He's wearing a black pair of sweatpants and a grey muscle shirt, his broad arms on display.
I glance at his shoulders, the curve of the muscles sending heat to my cheeks.
I would almost say he did it on purpose, wanting to tease me, if it wouldn't be Chan in front of me.

Chan crosses his arms in front of his chest, then uncrosses them and stuffs both his hands into the pockets of his pants. Then he takes them out again and takes my hand into his.
"Where will you sleep tonight?"
The question is quiet, and I am glad I turned off the camera. This question is meant just for me.
I'm staying at the dorm so it will be easier for me in the morning and I don't have to get halfway across town to catch the bus.
But I know that's not what he meant.
I lean into Chan ever so slightly, his shoulder next to mine, and bite my lip.
I know he's watching me, slightly squeezing my hand. I glance up at him through my lashes and smile.
I answer just as quietly.
"Wherever you want me to."