Letters On Our Skin || BangChan

62

"Can I think about it?" My voice is thick. "It's an incredible offer, but I am currently employed in another entertainment company and-..."
"I know," Jung Sun-Young says, "Which is why we called you directly. I can't imagine a creative soul like you is content with being the background dancer all her life, without ever getting the chance to accomplish something bigger."

That sounds slightly condescending.
Being a background dancer at JYP Entertainment is already more than I ever could have imagined myself to be doing.
"Don't misunderstand me," Jung Sun-Young hurries to add, "Of course you're already doing an important job. But from what I saw on your channel-... judging by the raw talent and creativity you show in your videos, you can be more than what you are right now. There is always more to achieve, Miss Park."

There is always more to achieve.
She's right, of course.
Binna just told me an hour ago that maybe choreographing is what fills me up. I love dancing, I love moving.
But creating and teaching routines makes me happier than any of that, seeing others dance what I created is what I want.
But I have only been at JYPE for a few months. I'd have to leave all my friends.
I'd have to leave Chan.

Would we be able to stay together?
Would he even want to be with me if I would leave JYP for HYBE?
I don't want to lose him.
But this is the chance of a lifetime.
Me, the choreograph of a newcomer group.

"I appreciate you calling me, and I am interested," I finally say, "But there is a lot that I have to consider. I'd have to uproot my entire life."
"I understand that, of course," Sun-Young answers calmly, "I can give you three weeks to think about the offer and get everything cleared up. If you give me your email address, I'll send you additional information like a salary offer and the company advantages."
"Okay, sure," I say and give her my contact information.
She notes everything down and then she says, "If you have any questions at all don't hesitate to reach out. We could also set up a visiting date with the girls from the girl group if you'd like, just let us know."
"Okay, thank you. I'll let you know."
We hang up and I lean against the wall.

Jesus Christ.
This can not be happening.
That is the second life changing call I have gotten in the past twenty-four hours.
What's going to happen next? I win the lottery?
This is insane. It shouldn't be possible.
But they want me. Me!
If that girl group is the next big thing, my choreographies could be known across the globe. And Hybe is a big number. All their bands are top-sellers.. there is no reason to think their new girl group is going to flop.
Complete creative control over a girl group's choreographies.
No matter how I turn and spin it in my head, it's not getting any smaller to swallow or easier to believe.

I need to talk to someone.
I can't talk about this with anyone.
What am I going to tell them? That I got the opportunity to leave them? That I am actually considering it?
No, I could never say that.

"You alright?"
Chan appears next to me and I plaster a smile on my face.
"Yeah," I exclaim and roll my eyes, "Just some sales person that did not want to get off the phone for the life of me. So persistent."
I walk towards him and take his hand in mine. Chan's gentle eyes scan me, but I seem to have gotten better at lying, because he only shrugs and quickly presses a kiss to my cheeks.
"Your food is getting cold," he says then and we walk to the table together.

As the day goes on, I try to push any thought of the Hybe offer away.
I am on vacation. I am with the people I love, so I need to concentrate on them and nothing else.
Who knows how quickly I get a chance to do this again.
When night comes around and it's quiet and dark in the house, I am alone in my room. I just got ready to fall into bed, when my phone gives a tingling.
Chan texted me.

Come down to the beach. Bring a sweater.

I grab the hoodie I snuck from him and pull it on, before slipping into my flip-flops and sneaking out of the house.
It's a mild night, though the sea breeze makes a shiver run down my spine.
The sky is so incredibly clear, the stars seem to be moving alongside the moon when I look up at them.
I spot Chan from afar.
He's sitting in the sand on a dark blanket, a lantern next to him illuminating his body and a small pile of pillows and blankets.

"Hey," I say when I reach him.
Chan gets to his feet and pulls me close by my hand, until our bodies collide and our lips meet.
He kisses me slowly, one hand wandering to the small of my back. My hands find their way to his shoulders all by themselves as he deepens our kiss.
When he slows and finally stops, I can hear a grin in his voice when he says, "I have been wanting to do this for hours."
I reach up and drive my hand through his curls. He closes his eyes for a moment and leans his head against mine.
I can hear the waves crash onto the beach, and smell the salty water around us.

I shiver again, when the cool breeze hits my naked legs and Chan pulls me onto the blanket. He props up a few pillows for us to lay on, before putting all the blankets over us.
"Here, I don't want you to be cold," he says, but I scoot as close as I possibly can and he wraps his arm around me.
I place my head on his chest and let my hands explode the planes of his body beneath his own sweatshirt. He chuckles when I playfully poke his bellybutton.
I could forever stay in his arms like this. The stars above us. Him by my side.

I feel his hand pull my leg higher until it's across his lap his fingers can reach it comfortably.
He is writing letters onto the skin.

R U OKAY

I could tell him.
He'd understand.
I should tell him. This is something that affects both of us, not just me. I have to tell him.

YES

I write the letters onto his stomach.
I can't tell him right now. It would ruin the moment.
It would destroy it.
And I have three weeks to decide, that is more than enough time for me to tell him that I'm thinking about leaving JYP.
But I won't do it tonight.
Not when his heart is beating against mine and his hands are writing secret messages onto my skin.