As Billy, Jake, Bella, and dad have dinner I head off to find a spot in the woods to sleep. I make sure I am close to the school so I may just slip in without having to be late or anything. Knowing it isn't a school day, I still head in and ask for my schedule early.
Passing through the bustling students in the halls, I find the secretary's office. I give a small smile to the lady and ask for my schedule. The lady looks for a while and I wait. it is not like I got anything to do.
"I'm sorry hon but you aren't registered." Narrowing my eyes, I ask how so. "Your application was denied in September. didn't you get it?"
Bella and Renee were looking over an envelope and whispering to each other. I thought it was something else and when I asked about my application they said I am able to go. I was accepted. Can't believe they lied.
"Sorry, must have forgotten. Bye." The lady nods and I leave the building. No sounds around me pass in my mind or are being registered. They wanted to play games on me and I think I know the cause. My disorder.
Letting out an oof as I slam into someone. Looking up I see golden brown eyes that glare at me. Diverting my attention elsewhere, I apologize to him before walking out of the school. Heading into the woods, I make it to where I placed my bag. It is still there. Grabbing it, I look for a place to sleep and reside.
My eyes fly upward to the mountain. Must be a cave that doesn't have any animals inside that I can live in. Renee gladly got me to learn how to survive in the wild, saying that one day I might be doing just that. Living alone in the woods. Well, her dream turned true.
Taking my lighter, flipped it open and then snapped it closed after staring at the flame for a minute. I head onto the trail leading to the mountain rock. Straining my throat, I rake my eyes over the white ash rock that I will be climbing. Grabbing my bag and hooking it on my back, I begin my climb.
I take my sweet time in getting up to the cave. Peeking over, I find my new home. Pushing my foot on the rocky ledge, I climb, climb, and climb till I make it over. I lay on my back and catch my breath with the altitude. I never even noticed that I am crying. It takes a single tear to begin the descent of the waterfall.
How could Bella do that!? How dare they!? I deserve to be in school, I have a lot of control over my disorder. I can be an ordinary student just like everyone else. At they do this! Why!? I never asked to have this disorder. I never wanted this! I never cause any trouble, well, nothing major! I glance down at my left forearm. Covered by my long black sleeve that hides a secret.
I take off my shirt and look down at the scar. It was the first time I learned of my disorder. I knew that everyone would hate me and whatnot and so I took a knife and slit it along my arm. I let it become a scar as a reminder that there will be nobody to love me and nobody that will care.
I change into a red tee and some black tights before I begin to form a cave as a home for me. Placing my bag on the ground, I begin to form a nice pit where my fire will be. Taking some small rocks from inside the cave I place them neatly and nicely on the circle of sand I put. Layering rocks on rocks, it begins to look like one of those above-ground firepits. smiling at my accomplishment, I move over to my bag.
Taking out my sleeping bag for camping, the soft fur blanket to keep me warm during the winter, and my water bottle. Some pans I took since I had an inkling that I shall be living in the woods. How I knew, intuition. Plus, the camping and boy/girl scout training helped me learn to be one with nature. I know how to hunt, survive, and whatnot. It took a lot of convincing from me to Phil and then to mom before I was able to do those summer courses. Glad I convinced them so now I am prepared.
Placing some valuable things like a seashell I got from the Californian shores and a picture of my family and me together smiling. Bella and I were only three and it was before we split as a family. Bella and I were in the middle. Renee was behind Bella while I am in front of Charlie. It is the only picture I have that I hold onto because it was before all these problems began.
Listening to the song once more of 'One Day, I take my empty bag that has a pocketknife and a small met to catch fish which I will be having for lunch. I crawl back down the mountain and begin to pick up twigs and logs, stuffing them in my bag. Having them stick out, I move on to find the river. I stand in the woods, listening to the nature around me very carefully. Woodpecker on my right above three stories high on a tree. Squirrels scurrying down the bark beyond me in front. The wind is blowing from behind me and moving to the front of my path. Looking around, I find a young buck walking straight past me. Following animals always led me to find water. I follow behind, the creature doesn't notice me and continues to lead me to the river.
The rushing of water helps me fasten my pace and make it to the water rushing below me. Standing on the cliff of a rock, I watch the foul enemy of fire. Flowing, pushing past the rocks in its way. Moving downstream where I can unscrew my water bottles and gather as much water as I can. I keep five water bottles in my bag. One for washing, the second to drink, the third for food, the fourth for putting out the fire, and the fifth is extra in case of an emergency. Having also caught some fish by the brook, I head back to my cave.
During my trek, I get the feeling that I am being watched. Turning back, I look about trying to find the culprit. The woods may not be favored by many people but you never know who you might just catch. A pervert, a killer, some normal people. The woods bring about a lot of people and give them serenity and time to pass by. Speaking of time flying by, I notice the clouds getting darker meaning night is falling soon. Picking up my pace, I make it in time as nightfall dims the entire place in the shadow. With the clouds covering the moon, everything takes a scarier dark tone. I turn away and begin my firepit, scrapping the rocks, the lighted flame heats the cold rock and my body.
"I missed you, my love," I whisper almost chanting it as I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth the fire provides. It may be the curse that keeps me being social but it surely is a great friend in the darkness. Crossing my arms to keep myself warm, I lean slightly in as my eyes look into the fire. The dance of the spits of flames entertains me. The orange, red, and white colors swirl and sway, being the best show for me to enjoy and judge. Enchanting and hypnotic. This is what it means to be a pyromaniac. Being in love with the burning warmth fire can give us.
My thoughts turn to how Bella and Charlie are doing. I did leave them high and dry back there. I wonder if they are thinking about me. I am sure they are. I am sure they are thinking how glad they are that I went to crawl in a hole and die. I am certain they are dancing with each other that the wretched fire demon cursing their lives is gone and not bothering them. They no longer have to be with fear in their hearts when I get too close.
This doesn't mean that I won't visit. I may be gone but I ain't that nuts to even disappear and never care about my family. I am still a Swan even though I am the black one in the family. I begin singing "One day" into the night and sway with the fire.
Lal la lal la la la la la
Lal la lal la ra ra ra ra
Lal la lal la ra la la ra
I can see morning in light.
Saboori,
Kono' dur besho az gham
Be fardat omidvaram
Hava to hanooz az dur daram
One day I'm gonna fly away
One day when heaven calls my name
I lay down I close my eyes at night
I can see morning in light
One day I'm gonna fly away
One day I'll see your eyes again
I lay down I close my eyes at night, I can see morning in light.
Morning in light.
Dele man hanoozam pishet gire
Nagoo ke dige dire
Joodaei ye rooz az
Beyn mire
One day I'm gonna fly away
One day when heaven calls my name
I lay down I close my eyes at night
I can see morning in light
One day I'm gonna fly away
One day I'll see your eyes again
I lay down I close my eyes at night, I can see morning in light.
Bitabe bitabam
Bi to.
Bitabe bitabam
Bito.
Harja ke basham bazam
Man duset daram!
One day I'm gonna fly away
One day when heaven calls my name
I lay down I close my eyes at night
I can see morning in light
One day I'm gonna fly away
One day I'll see your eyes again
I lay down I close my eyes at night, I can see morning in light.
After singing and calming my body and soul. I crawl into my sleeping bag and head to bed. Tomorrow, I might visit my sister at school and see how things are going. She might have some anxiety to get off her chest or frustration that I am glad to have her lean on me for.
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Pyromaniac in love (Volturi Kings)
FanfictionThe subtle burn and the smell of smoke is a drug I cannot get enough of. The warmth it provides is euphoria, it provides so much of a connection than anyone in my family has dared to show me. I never knew that when I followed my dull dry sister, Bel...
