Crescent x Gradient Oneshots

Spider-Gradient, Spider-Gradient, does whatever a spider can

Crescent had really bad luck. It ran in the family.

He was always being inconvenienced in some way, shape or form. He might be going on a simple trip for groceries, and walk in on a robbery instead.

If he and his uncle went out together, it would be worse.

Normally, this led to situations that, while terrifying in the moment, when he thought back on them at a later date were usually pretty funny.

Not this time.

This time he was certain he was going to die and no one would even know.

Crescent had been on his way to a family reunion.

On the way there, the universe had remembered that he hadn't been inconvenienced in a while, so it decided to somehow disconnect the wheels of his car from the rest of the vehicle. He was not aware of this until he tried to make a turn and suddenly found himself thrown off a cliff.

Crescent landed in a tree, got tangled in some branches and somehow didn't die - probably because the universe still found him interesting.

He rated this experience 1 star, as in he would not recommend a repeat of this.

Please don't ask why Crescent rates his inconveniences like they're hotels, it's an inside joke between him and his brothers.

Now he was willing to put up with this. Yes, his entire body hurt, but someone would see the bottom of his wheels and that broken railing, and eventually find him.

What really made him so upset was the fact that once the tree branches decided to stop holding his weight and broke, he landed in a giant spider web.

Do you know how terrifying it is to see a house spider on the ceiling??? Now there's one the size of a person???? Please send help. Like right now.

Whether it was his injuries, or the stickiness of the web, Crescent was unable to get up and he did not like this.

That rating was going down to half a star.

"Excuse me, what the hell?"

No, no, scratch that. The rating was going into the negatives.

This wasn't a regular (giant) spider's web. It was a demon spider's web.

But demons were supposed to have all been killed off centuries ago. I mean, obviously, they weren't, if Crescent was seeing one right now but that just made this all the worse.

"I-"

"How are you still alive?" the demon asked. Crescent gave a laugh that probably made him sound a little crazy.

"I- I don't know," he said. "Can- can I leave?"

"Can you?" they repeated. "It doesn't seem like you should be moving."

"I- I need to go home... and- and visit my parents, I-"

"You can't do that if you're dying," they interrupted. "Sit still, I'll just bandage your wounds."

"You- you don't have to," Crescent started, only to cut himself off with a pained gasp as he shifted in a way that made his body protest.

"I thought mother was exaggerating about how much humans like ignoring their own needs," they muttered, coming over. "Quit moving."

"Okay.." he sighed, doing as he was told.

"What's your name?"

"Crescent... y-you?"

"Gradient."

Crescent tried not to tremble as Gradient wrapped his strings around him. It didn't hurt, but all the stories his father had told him about demons were... kind of terrifying.

If the demon noticed his fear, they were nice enough not to say anything.

"There we go," Gradient said, removing their hands as they completed their work. "You stayed pretty still compared to what I've heard about your kind. Do you get hurt often?"

"K-kinda..."

"I see," they replied. "Your kind doesn't have a lot of self-preservation, do they?"

"Well, I- I mean, no..." he started. He had to be honest, humans are very good at screwing ourselves over. "I- I just... just have bad luck!"

"I see."

"It- it runs in the family," he explained. "S-started with my uncle... somehow I got it. Not... not entirely sure how I'm still alive."

"Maybe that lack of self-preservation comes from your ability to live through things you shouldn't, considering how weak you humans look," Gradient mumbled.

"Maybe..." Crescent agreed. "When will- when will I be able t-to leave?"

"When you stop looking like you're half dead."

"Okay."

Maybe this experience wasn't so bad... it wasn't exactly 5 stars yet, but he made a new friend so that was something?

Look, Crescent was just glad the spider demon wasn't going to kill him.

A/N: Think of this as Demon Slayer, but after the big bad was defeated and then travel a few centuries to the future. 'Heroes' still show up, but the villains decided to take an extended vacation so they never realize it. They just keep getting into trouble and escaping it with plot armour they don't know they have. I think it's funny and it'd make a great anime :D