Restless Soul

17

   Contrary to her routine of using the last row to further the invisibility factor she possessed, Amanda instead opted for a seat in the second row. Knowing all eyes would be on her regardless of where she sat, at least by sitting in front they'd be easier to ignore if out of her line of vision.

   Patiently as she waited for the room to fill up, her gaze wandered to the empty chair beside her. Up 'til that point, she'd barely given Peyton a thought. Now realizing they'd be so close, she looked back around the room, skipping over the questioning glances to find that all potential seats had been taken. A rush of anxiety leaked through her palms and tickled the soles of her feet. Both from the anticipation of seeing her again and the nerve-racking experience that'll be starting a conversation with no recollection of where they'd left off.

When the second bell rang, sirens went off in her head. Peyton rarely got to class late, if ever. Relief wished to creep in, but it was overshadowed by another concern.

Where was she?

"Alright, guys and gals. Settle down. We're about to... Amanda?"

In a move that would for sure garner whiplash, Amanda snapped her head forward and was met with a surprised Mr. Fincher. His face said everything his opening and closing mouth struggled to express.

With a curt nod, she raised her palm in a way to dismiss the man's useless efforts to de-escalate an already awkward enough situation.

"Well, welcome back. We missed you."

Nodding indignantly, Amanda turned back to pull out her textbook, while the boy behind her made no effort to spare her the indecency of his comment, " Didn't notice you'd gone anywhere. We've all seen quite a lot of you recently."

   All the ones within earshot began to chuckle. Amanda stared him down, her face blank of any and all emotion. One look to his left, she smirked at the girl whose grin pissed her off. Blabbermouths tend to forget that someone else will always be there to return the favor, and as rumors fly around, Kelly, the girl in question, knew how to keep them below the surface. But Amanda had different planes. It's about time she let it come up for air.

"Glad you liked it, Jake. According to Kelly, there wasn't much to see on your end though," she shot back, first watching Kelly's jaw drop, before turning her attention to Jake who'd begun to blanch.

A chorus of laughs erupted around them. Pivoting in her seat, Amanda focused back on the teacher, well aware of the angry sneers Jake mumbled at her.

About fifteen minutes into the lesson, her thoughts had gone back to Peyton. A few latecomers trotted through the door, each causing Amanda's hopeful heart to shatter when she'd look back to find that yet again, it wasn't her.

   While Mr. Fincher sought out a good exercise to put on the board, the slightest shuffle in the hallway drew her attention back to the door. It was turning into a freefall exercise to get her hopes up so high before landing hard with nothing to cushion the crash. Unsurprisingly, all that was left of her optimism was mere smithereens when a black girl stepped in holding in her hand a rolled-up poster that nearly slipped from her grasp when she entered the room.

"Micka, could you close the door, please?" instructed Mr. Fincher, and once the girl was free of her load, she'd gone back to the door and pushed it shut.

For a second the girl held her gaze, bringing Amanda to the realization that she was looking right at her, causing her to jerk around, breaking the awkward staredown.

   She exhaled a trembling breath, focusing back on the letters before her. That's all they were, black symbols sprinkled on the cream-colored page, none ever coming together to create a proper word. She tried to blink away the confusion, but as her focus grew, the letters began to slide down to the bottom of the page.

   From the corner of her eye, she saw the black patch it was leading to. Her gaze shifted to the floor next to her now covered in dirt. Looking on, she noticed her bare feet, so pale and so still. She went on to look up, scanning over the light green hospital gown soaking in a puddle of dark red blood on her seat. Her black hair was down on either side of her face, dampened by the blood oozing from the gash on the back of her head, the liquid leaking onto her back.

   A frozen wave chilled her veins, but her heart stopped when the girl turned her head. The familiar jade pool seemed to bore into her soul. Instantly taking her back to the sea of darkness where they together lay, before the wrongful eviction that sent her spiraling into the deep.

"Help me."

   She sounded so far, yet so close as she croaked her plea. As faint as a clue on a scavenger hunt said to be hidden in plain sight while no matter how hard she'd look, it would be nowhere to be seen. As quickly as it came, the daze broke, and in the blink of an eye, her vision cleared, leaving in its wake a confused classmate sitting across the room to testify to the open assault on her sanity.

"Amanda, is everything alright?"

Amanda nearly squealed, the sudden intrusion letting free the fear she'd yet to feel up to that point. A rush of warmth in her pants made her clasp her thighs together as she struggled to answer.

"Did I just pee myself?"

The eminent moisture in her jeans left no doubts about her question.

   The embarrassment of her current predicament activated her fight or flight reflexes, an art heightened by her time with Dr. Fletcher. She sought refuge in the nearest bathroom, confusion mixed with the strong cocktail of fear making its way into her heart. Could her mother have been right to lock her up, or had it been that place that'd corrupted her brain?

   Whichever was the culprit, she unleashed a torrent of uncertainty and disgust for the person she was. Maybe broken was what she'd always been, and as she wallowed in self-hate, she pondered if the loony-bin hadn't been the home she was destined to from the start. Now that she'd escaped, a deranged wildebeest was left to roam free. 

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