Two Wrongs

Crashing Down: Allegra

"Allegra?"

I snapped out of the spaced out fog my brain had been in since I'd left the doctor's office earlier that morning. The second she'd confirmed my worst fear, that I was, in fact, pregnant, my brain put itself out of order. I was just coasting through the day, with no real emotions, no real sense of what was happening. I was numb. And completely lost.

Somehow in the last few months, my IUD had fallen out. I hadn't noticed. I wasn't even aware that was something that could fucking happen. No one had given me any warnings about it, that's for fucking sure. There were no signs, there was really no way for me to know. It's not like it was big enough to even notice it was missing and... I don't know. I don't know what was rushing through my head. The doctor had said that there were a lot of factors that could've led to it either not being inserted correctly or whatever, but I barely heard anything after "You're pregnant."

I didn't know what to do, and that was a gross understatement. To be honest, I'd never even thought about having kids. I wasn't one of those girls that yearned of being a mother. I'm not sure I had a maternal bone in my whole ass body. I didn't hate kids. I wasn't vehemently opposed to them; I just wasn't sure I needed to have any of my own. I'd be one hell of a fun aunt whenever Joey and Sadie decided to reproduce, but I'd always thought that was as far as my relationship with children would go. Especially with a guy I'd known all of three or four months. A guy that was terrified of serious relationships. A guy that had such a nightmare inducing childhood, it'd completely put him off any familial tendencies one might have. If this had happened with Trevor, I was confident he'd have at least wanted to help, to take care of his kid. Liam... I wasn't so sure. And the fact that my brain even went there was making me feel even worse. I hadn't even given him a chance to react, but I sure had my mind made up about how it would go down.

But then again, I wasn't so sure that I wanted to have it, but I couldn't make that decision without at least letting Liam know, right? Would he care? Would he drive me to the clinic himself and then never speak to me again? I didn't know. My usual MO was ignoring problems until they exploded in my face, but this? This secret definitely had a short shelf life of how long I could keep it to myself. Especially with Sadie and Joey around.

"Hmm?" I hummed looking up at Sadie on the other side of the shop's reception desk.

"You gonna answer that or let it ring another fourteen times?" she asked, nodding at my cell phone, currently lit up with a picture of Liam and buzzing across the smooth tabletop.

"Oh. Shit. Sorry." I reached over and silenced the call, adding another tally mark to the list of missed Liam calls I'd received that morning.

I had no idea what to say to him. How was I supposed to tell the man who was barely interested in serious relationships that in just over eight months he was going to be a father? I sure as shit had no idea how I was going to tell him. I doubt one of those cute pregnancy reveal TikToks were fucking appropriate in this situation. "Yeah! A baby! That neither party is remotely excited about! Yay! Here's a cake pop!"

Yep. Definitely not going to work.

I already had myself convinced that he'd want nothing to do with me or our prospective child. That he'd just completely write me off. A 'Sorry for your shit luck, see ya never' kind of goodbye. Maybe he and his legal team would offer me a big fat sum of money to just slip quietly into the background. I'd have to find a new place to live. I'd probably have to go back to Michigan. There was no point in even trying to start Grad school in a month, because I wouldn't have the fucking mental capacity to pass, let alone excel like I always pressured myself to do. I'd have to get some job at some shitty diner and be a single mom in a shitty apartment with no friends and more resentment building by the day, and...