A/N: Hey guys! So so sorry that I haven't written in almost like a week lol...but I hope you enjoy this!
"I thought that if I acted like it didn't matter, then it wouldn't" I finish off the sentence, clicking my pen closed and throwing the journal across my bed.
"Okay tell me whats wrong" Victoria says walking into the room and sitting down next to me. I huff and turn around so I don't face her.
I love Vic and the guys I really do, but sometimes being friends with them is so tiring. Like going from a mostly solitary life to an all so sudden exciting burst of energy life is pretty draining.
For the past 2 weeks I've barely gone to work from hanging out with them so much, going out, going to the studio, I even went to one of their practices, and even though I'm financially stable and don't specifically need to go 7 days a week to a coffee shop to survive, it brings me peace.
But recently I've lost a lot of my solitary peace. It's just been a fever dream filled with chaos.
"Talk to me" Victoria says, touching my shoulder but I shrug her off,
"I'm angry" I groan, falling back onto bed so we're both staring at the ceiling.
"Well do you know what emotions are causing this bitchiness and confusion besides anger?" she asks as I shrug again,
"I've never been good with emotional stuff, but anger, I'm good with anger" I say as Victoria lightly smacks me, sitting upright.
"Anger makes you stupid and stupid gets you killed" she chuckles as I furrow my eyebrows and sit up as well.
"I'm not leaving you alone until you smile" Vic says as I glare at her. I don't know why but I'm slightly losing my patience.
"Vic leave me alone please"
"No"
"Leave me alone"
"No"
"Oh my god do you ever shut up!" I burst out.
There is a scream from deep within that forces its way from my mouth, it is as if my terrified soul has unleashed a demon. All I feel is anger, all I feel is that I don't want to be friends with anyone at all because then I don't have to trust anyone, it'll be safer, easier to choose not to stay. And I know I'm hiding a truth from myself, of how much this is really to do with sadness and the scars that just won't heal. Yet these fists clench and my teeth lock up once the sound of me yelling at Victoria is out.
"I really don't understand what's going on with you sometimes!" She yells back, catching me off guard. I'm on my feet now, walking away from the bed and to the door, trying to calm myself down before Victoria starts yelling again.
"Don't you dare walk away right now" She screams again as she appears next to me within a few seconds. I try not to look in her eyes as I scoff and push past her pacing around the room.
"Why is everything always a struggle with you" I seethe through my teeth as Victoria scoffs, rubbing her temples.
"Are you kidding me!? You're the one always fucking running from your problems, which is a problem itself!" She yells, the sound echoes on the walls as I shudder lightly.
