Moving On ✩ Carlos Sainz Jr

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟓

♫ And I'm not scared to say those words, with you, I'm safe
We're falling like the stars
We're falling in love ♫

Maya Martinez POV

I woke up the next day and I saw Carlos smiling, he got up and my hormones almost got the best of me when I saw him in just his shorts, he picked up a t-shirt and put it on while I just sat there.

"Good morning cariño. Are you feeling better?" He asks getting closer to me.

"I am fine, a lot less nervous. Thank you for putting up with me" I say getting up and following him to the bathroom, we brushed our teeth then went to the kitchen where Camila and Mariana were. They were gossiping about us, I know it because they got quiet as soon as we got in.

"There you are! I went to your room and didn't see you there. I guess my intuition was right" Mariana says and I saw a little smirk forming on her lips.

"I was anxious, that was it" I say and they seem to quickly understand.

"Caco and Rupert are outside getting some sun, I told them to wait but they want to get tanned" Camila says and Carlos leaves to meet them.

"Did you have more flashbacks? You could've come to us" I could see the fear on Mariana's eyes and I shrugged.

"You were already sleeping. I don't think I can ever tell him what happened. Can you not tell him when my birthday is? He will make it a big deal and I don't want that" I say while picking what I wanted to eat for breakfast.

"You should tell him what happened with your parents and he will understand. He will probably do whatever you choose to do" Camila says and I shake my head.

"Don't tell him, please" I say dead serious and they enter the kitchen.

"Looking good as always Maya" Rupert says and I let out a laugh.

"For now" I say while I greeted them with two kisses on the cheek.

"I doubt that will change" Caco says laughing.

"Pregnancy is crazy, I wouldn't doubt it boys" I say while they sat down with what they wanted.

Days were passing by crazily fast. It scared me how fast it was going, a week had gone by and I was scared that the next months will feel rushed. I don't want to know what changes this will do to my body. I don't know what our relationship will be like when the baby is born, I hope we can keep being friends. I don't want our kid to miss his dad, Carlos is a good man and the kid deserves someone like him. He can give him everything a kid could ever want. I tried to picture how our kid would look if it was a boy or a girl. It was always a cute baby.

I was now sitting on the yacht while I thought everyone was already sleeping. My parents could never take me on vacations, we weren't rich and I had no inheritance, their house was possessed by the bank to pay off their debts but it was never sold. I only went to college because I had a scholarship. My mom would love this. She would love to be on a boat traveling to European islands. I want her here, I wanted her so bad. I wanted her at my graduation, I wanted her to hold my hand when I found out I was pregnant. 

I want my dad to tell me everything will be alright and to threaten Carlos' life if he ever dared to hurt us. I got nothing. I am grateful for Camila and Mariana but I feel so empty sometimes, I lost them and I have very few things to remember them.

"It's pretty late but summer nights are very good to relax while looking at a view" I hear Carlos say as he sat next to me.

"I thought everyone was sleeping" I say regretting my decision to come outside.

"I know, you have been here for an hour. What is bothering you?" He asks and I keep quiet, I try to discreetly wipe the tears that were running down my face but it was useless.

"I'm sorry. I love all of this, it's nothing you've done. It's just- memories. I miss people who can't be here but should've been" I say not looking at him, he puts his arms around my shoulder and pulls me closer.

"You can cry all you want. Just don't do it alone, because you aren't alone. I'm here for you and so are Camila and Mariana, Caco and Rupert are good listeners too. My mom and sisters would appreciate the thought and my dad would probably just try to give life advices thinking it's comforting" He says and it brings a smile to my face.

"I know but I just wanted to think for a bit. I don't want to talk" I say with my head on his shoulder.

"Let's just think then. I will be here quietly, you won't even notice me" He says and lays down to look at the stars, I do the same and we stay quiet for a lot of time.

I didn't feel alone, he was there. He wasn't pushing me for a reason or a justification. He was just trying to be there. I watched the stars and they were beautiful, my parents loved this. They were crazy about the most simple and mundane things. I know I am just like them on that and I love it. I reached for Carlos' hand and stayed there. He held my hand tightly and I felt his gaze on me for a few seconds before he finally went back to looking up.

I'm in love with this man. And I don't want to be. I know it will end badly if I act on it. And the last thing I want is a custody battle and bad co-parenting. Why is this so difficult? I looked at him and he looked even better with just some light hitting his face. I just saw him and the sea and it was a good view. He looked at me and I saw he was watching every one of my features.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks in a raspy voice and I see him gulp. Fuck.