The Maiden

Chapter 62

*Freya's P.O.V*

It was different being home. Sure I liked being back with Alcina and the girls but it felt different. Now I had murdered someone and that would never feel good. Karl had told me that the lycans enjoyed their lunch which just made me feel even more gross. I didn't want to think about Ethan Winters anymore. I just tried to block out the memory of him.

Alcina seemed to realize I was struggling a lot with the fact I killed him. Maybe because I wasn't regressing much or because I seemed more distant lately. Yet she never tried to force me to speak with her, she simply asked me to sit with her.

I had been doing that a lot in the past few days. Just sitting with her. Today though was different. Today she came to see me.

I was sitting inside my greenhouse, working on planting flowers. I felt her hands rest on my shoulders and I turned to look at her. She wasn't wearing her black hat nor was she wearing her gloves. Her hair was actually down in loose curls instead of pulled back into a bun like usual.

"You look different," I muttered softly. She kneeled down next to me, making it so that she wasn't looming over me so much. My head rested on her arm as she wrapped an arm around my waist.

"I've decided to do something different today, my little one," she said softly. She was always so gentle with me now like she was afraid I was going to break. She had also started using a lot more possessive wording with her words. It was no longer just darling or little fairy, it was my darling or my little fairy. It was actually quite nice.

"I like it," I stated as I reached up to play with her curls. My fingers tangled with it gently and she chuckled softly.

"You always seem to like playing with my hair my dear," Alcina said as she smiled softly. "I think you know that I didn't come here just to let you play with my hair," she stated.

"I know, I just don't want to talk right now," I muttered against her shoulder. I was hiding my face into her shoulder and she chuckled softly.

"I know my dear but you must talk about it. I can tell something is bothering you," Alcina sighed. She moved to sit down fully and I crawled into her lap, a small whine escaping me. My face was pressed into her chest.

"I can't stop thinking about Ethan Winters and his death. I can still feel the chisel bashing into his skull," I whispered softly. Her arms wrapped around me, gently rocking me. I whined softly as I nuzzled my face into her chest. My eyes closed as she continued to rock me slightly.

"All of the girls were the same after their first kills," Alcina whispered. My eyebrows furrowed slightly at her words as I looked up at her.

"Really?" I asked softly, not sure that I believed her.

"Of course, killing was something that they struggled with," Alcina said as she gently ran a hand through my hair. "With time it got easier, now they enjoy the hunt. I don't expect you to be the same my darling," she said.

"Why don't you expect me to be the same?" I asked with a small pout on my lips. I didn't want to be different, being different was no fun.

"When the girls were turned with the Cadou, they already had that hunger in their eyes. I could tell that they would make it as hunters," Alcina said softly. "I wasn't intending on turning you for a long time, I could tell that you didn't have that same hunger," she stated.

"I don't think I will ever get over the feeling of the chisel hitting his skull. There was so much blood," I whispered softly.

"He was a bad person who wanted to hurt you and our family. That will not erase your feelings of guilt for killing him but you were justified in protecting yourself," Alcina assured me.

"It doesn't feel like I was justified, it just feels like I killed a man," I said as I continued to play with her hair. The hair was just so fun to play with. Alcina gently cupped my face and I looked up at her with a small hum.

"You did kill him, Freya, you have to acknowledge that but you did it in self defense. You didn't hunt him down with the intention of killing him, you killed him because he was going to hurt others after hurting you and Donna," Alcina stated. I nodded my head after a moment, taking in her words.

"I know," I whispered softly as she continued to rock me back and forth. I felt tears burn my eyes as she hummed softly.

"Oh my baby, you've dealt with so much," Alcina whispered to me as she combed my hair back with her hand. I turned slightly to bury my face into her chest. I let the tears fall as my mind fully comprehended what I had done.

I continued to sob softly into her chest as she continued to rock me until I couldn't cry anymore. She wiped my tears away with her thumb.

"I will always be here for you, I promise," Alcina stated.

"Promise?" I whispered, my lip trembling as I looked up at her. Her golden eyes seemed to glow as she nodded her head.

"Of course my darling, I always keep my promises," Alcina stated.

"Okay," I said after a moment with a small smile on my lips.

"Do you feel a little better?" Alcina asked. I thought about it for a moment before I nodded my head after a moment. I did feel a little bit better. I didn't think I would be a hundred percent better for a long time but it was nice to feel a little bit better.

"I can't wait to see Taylor tomorrow," I muttered. Taylor still hadn't recovered fully and Mother Miranda was doing her whole bringing her daughter back to life so the first chance I would get to see them was when they visited tomorrow.

"So you start feeling better and immediately want to abandon me for your friend?" Alcina teased, making me duck my head and hide it into her chest.

"Stop it," I whined softly as I started to regress.