All's Fair in Love and Las Vegas

Chapter Forty-One

        Grayson came home from work the next day with a shopping bag. This was strange, since normally we ordered groceries from the store and if he bought me a gift he always wrapped it. So I couldn't help but jump up from the kitchen stool and ask, "What did you get?"

        "Just, um, something I saw in the window of a shop," he said bashfully, handing me the bag. I pulled out a tiny onesie, a little orange thing with a green collar.

        "Are you planning on dressing it up as a carrot?" I asked teasingly.

        "Not all the time, but clearly it was a need," he said, grinning as he plopped down next to me. "Isn't it adorable?"

        "Very," I admitted. 

        He grinned and pulled out a pair of tiny orange shoes. "It came with booties."

        Oh. I was a sucker for baby booties.

        "Grayson, we can't buy baby clothes, I'm not due until March," I said reluctantly, trying to be responsible.

        The man practically had little hearts in his eyes. "But Jackie–baby carrot."

        Baby carrot was a really good argument. I groaned and said, "Fine, but no going crazy."

        "Yes!" Grayson shouted with a fist pump. "Can we go shopping when we get back from our honeymoon? Like to buy a crib, and blankies, and more onesies with matching booties, and little tiny bonnets, and maybe barrettes?"

        "Okay, okay, we can go when we get back," I laughed, finding his excitement sweet.

        He was so thrilled that he gave me a huge hug, then leaned down to my stomach and whispered, "Hear that? Mommy says we're going to spoil you."

        "I don't think it can hear yet," I pointed out apologetically.

        He shushed me. "I don't know that–let me have my fun."

        "We also can't keep calling it it," I pointed out.

        Grayson was aware of this decision. "Yeah, I was thinking about that too. So I came up with a fantastic name that I love—but if you totally don't like it, we can throw it away," he added quickly.

        But I was curious. "I didn't have anything in mind," I admitted. "If you've got something, I'd love to hear it." 

        "Everlie Answell," he said proudly.

        Just like that, the name Everlie Answell had meaning to it. Everlie Answell was a person, someone that I'd like to meet. The name also felt like the only choice, really. What else would Grayson and I name our baby? Nothing else made sense. It was Everlie. Except—

        "What if it's a boy?" I asked.

        Grayson shrugged. "I dunno."

        I snorted with laughter at his reply. "Okay, for now, she can be Everlie." 

        He squealed (which I had to admit was kind of cute) and hugged me again, this time nearly blasting all the air out of my lungs. Before I could even groan, he yelped and jumped back. "Sorry!"

        "It's fine," I said, out of breath. "It's not like I'm made of glass. But I'm still a human body that enjoys not being crushed."

        "Right," Grayson said sheepishly. "Sorry, Jacks."

        "It's okay, really, I'm glad you're excited," I said, not realizing how much I meant it until I said it. "You'll be a great dad."

        "I'll do my best," he promised. "But I think what I'm most excited for is seeing little Everlie call you mama.

        "You know if we keep calling her Everlie we'll end up confused and disappointed if it's a boy, right?" I point out. This was a diversion tactic, because I was not trying not smile and blush at the thought of Everlie sitting in his lap, asking daddy for another bedtime story.

        This was a great way to get my feelings blurry.

        "Nah. Everlie is perfect. If it's a boy, he'll still have the heart and soul of Everlie." Grayson was not deterred by my reasoning.." 

        "Okay, so we'll plan on Everlie," I said, hoping that Everlie worked out.

        Suddenly looking shy, he timidly asked, "Um, can I maybe...y'know, feel Everlie?"

         I frowned. "What, like if she kicks? There's nothing there, Grayson. Maybe a blob of fuzzy matter that is constantly growing, but there's no movement."

        "Still...I know she's there," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. I'd noticed that he had recently picked up this habit, doing it whenever he felt vulnerable.

        "Okay then. I don't mind," I said with a shrug. Taking his hand, I gently placed it on my stomach–my stomach that still felt very flat and not at all pregnant. I watched with discerning eyes as he froze, barely breathing. For a second I wondered if he was scared, if he'd realized just how horrific our situation was.

        But then his face broke into an enormous, bright smile as he leaned back and said proudly, "My little baby is in there."

        "You couldn't have possibly felt anything," I accused.

        "No," Grayson admitted. "But I still know they're there."

        I sighed, shaking my head. "You know how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

        "Maybe. But it means something to me," he insisted. "No matter how ridiculous it sounds, it means that I've got a tiny little human to protect in this world."

        I swallowed. "I guess I can understand that," I said softly. Truthfully, I wanted to protect the little human too. But I was scared I couldn't do it. Terrified that one wrong move could result in catastrophe. Worried sick that I would roll onto my stomach in the night, that I would attempt to move something heavy without thinking.

        The world is a dangerous place for a mother. Because that's what I am now: a mother. Something I never would've included in my title had I had the choice. The only thing keeping me going? Grayson. Grayson, who was so optimistic, so excited to see our baby that his attitude couldn't help but be infectious. Someone who was infinitely protective just when I needed him.

        "You okay?" he whispered, snapping me out of my trance. I looked at him, instantly calmed by his presence. Just sitting at the kitchen counter with me was all he had to do to banish my worries.

        "Fine," I said, meaning it. "We'll be okay."

        He smiled and squeezed my hand. "Yes we will be."

        We would be.