little bundle of joy | taekook

Thirty Nine

Taehyung's pov:

"So, Taehyung. How have you been since our last session?" Dr Yujun asks, fixing her notepad on her lap.

"um.. okay" I start, beginning to play with my fingers. "Nari woke up last week. Her and Hanjae are staying at Jungkook and I's. I-I'm just glad they're doing better and recovering."

"ah yes, of course. Jungkook told me the news of the crash. I'm so sorry to hear that Tae, it must of come of a real shock to the both of you. How are they both?"

"t-they um.. still have a lot of healing to do. But they're getting better. Hanjae has been going to physiotherapy for his spine a-and Nari has been on bed rest."

Dr Yujun nods her head, sending me a warm smile.

"Jungkook told me you've been finding it difficult to get back into your routine after the hospital stay. Do you want to talk about it?"

I release a shaky breath. Still finding it a bit nerve racking to explain all my feelings and open up, even after all these appointments.

"y-yeah. It's a bit silly really I-"

"-it's never silly Tae, go on." Yujun encourages.

"okay" I sigh deeply, fingers digging into my thighs.

"it's just.. I guess that i've become so use to having this routine with Jungkook. My little side was finally starting to show whenever he wanted. I-I was no longer hiding him away. B-but now.."

I pause, words getting caught in my throat.

Dr Yujun keeps quiet, but her eyes are soft and reassuring.

"I guess it's just that.. now with Jungkook's parents staying with us. He's got so much going on and on his plate. He's worrying about looking after them and getting them all better. Taking them to appointments, let alone going to work and making lesson plans. T-the last thing he needs is for me to slip. It's just one more person to look after.."

Dr Yujun begins to speak up but I find the courage to cut her off.

"i-it's not that i'm feeling sorry for myself or anything! not at all, i-it's selfish of me to even think this way. I'm so happy his parents are staying with us, they're some of my favourite people. I-I see them as my own parents i just." I sigh, shoulders dropping. "I just don't want Jungkook to have to put up with so much all the time. If I can not slip just until his parents are recovered, then I can help look after them too."

Yujun takes off her glasses, placing them on the desk in front.

"Taehyung, you've worked so hard to come to a place where you are slipping without asking for permission or shying away from doing so. I really don't want you to start going backwards on your process."

"You know how detrimental it is for your health to repress your little side. You were loosing weight, having constant migraines and always shaking. Taehyung you can't get to that point again. Jungkook became a carer because he wants to look after little's. Especially your little Tae. He loves you, loves your little side. Slipping while in his care isn't adding to his work load or giving him more to 'stress or worry about'."

I sigh, something I feel i've been doing since sitting down in Yujun's office.

"I-I know. I-" I sigh again. "I know it wouldn't be stressing him out. I just feel like being little whilst Jungkook's got so many other things to worry about will just make his life a little harder. You know?"

"I say this a lot but it's because it's always the right thing to do. Taehyung you need to tell Jungkook how you are feeling. The only way you can ease your conscious and your little side is by telling him about this all. When was the last time you slipped Tae?"