Cherry-picked Pitfall

Chapter XXII

AFTERNOON BREEZE embraced me upon hearing those two words— those two words that made me stun for a minute or two. . . Even five. . .

Nandyan siya?

Tama ba ang narinig ko?

Pakiramdam ko ay napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko, ni hindi ako makaimik. Everything went blurry as the assumed pensiveness upon meeting him again devoured my own voice. Everything went slow, slower than the blinks of my eyes while thinking how to process my emotions and what should I do now. . .

Si Caleb.

Makikita ko na ulit si Caleb.

Makikita ko na ulit siya.

Siya, na taong minahal ko nang sobra at ang ama ng anak ko. . .

Tama. . . Yung anak ko!

The moment Calley went to my mind, I immediately ran to the bukana. Fear cuddled my soul as the thought of not having my child beside me anymore scared the hell out of me. Maybe my instinct as a mother, right off the bat, what if Caleb just wanted my kid?

Of course, that saddened me. Malungkot isiping pumunta siya rito hindi para mabuo ang pamilya namin pero iyon ang posible. Masaya naman kasi ang buong pamilya pero sa ginawa niya, nakakatakot na. Sabik man akong makita siyang muli matapos ang dalawang buwan, hindi ko pa rin alam ang totoong dahilan kung bakit siya nandito. At paanong nahanap niya kami. . .

Doubts and worries filled me. Tila nagtatalo ang mga boses sa utak ko habang halos liparin ko na ang Llanura para lang makarating ako agad sa bahay ni Tita Cora. And when I finally reached bukana, my eyes istantly searched for the house where Calley was supposedly sleeping.

Then. . . My soul almost left my body as I found the door of Tita Cora's house. . .

Because beside that door, someone was waiting for me, and that was the man who used to be the dream. He was standing still— relaxed and unguarded— wearing the endearing smile and teary eyes that I saw when he was waiting for me at the altar years ago. The picturesque of Caleb looking like a groom was nostalgic, and that confused me. . .

"Sera," he uttered. The idea of him calling my name gave me a subtle goosebumps. I didn't know the reason, and I had no time to entertain that thought.

I stood straight and even cleared my throat before I started to confront him. "Bakit ka nan. . ."

But I was unable to finish my question as Caleb suddenly inched our distance and wrapped his arms around me. He even had the time to nibble the tip of my ears as he spoke. "I missed you."

Narinig ko ang hiyawan ng mga taong nasa labas ng kanilang mga bahay. Marahil ay nalaman nilang may bisitang dumating. Ganito rito at hindi ko sila masisisi na nakita nila ang pangyayari na ito pero kung maaari lang, sana hindi na. Dahil wala sa plano ko ang buoin ang pamilyang hindi ako ang sumira. Dahil nang magdesisyon akong tumira dito, hindi na kasama si Caleb sa mga plano ko.

I successfully grabbed both of his hands to release from that hug without offending him in front of the small crowd. Then I casually looked at him in the eyes, gave him a short smile, and stepped backward from him. That was me drawing a line between us.

Pinanood iyon ni Caleb. I saw how his eyes tried to read my actions, then he sighed. "Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?"

I bobbed my head as I guided him to a place where no one would stay and eavesdrop from our conversation. But honestly, we headed to a place where we only had few minutes left before most people of Islas de Hermoso Fuego would pass left and right, because I just wanted to give him ample time to converse with me, just the reason of him being here and nothing else.

"Ano ang lugar na ito, Sera?" Caleb asked me when we stopped on our destination— the bridge going to bayan.

I rested my arms on the wooden part of the railing and looked at the trees around Villa Alquiza from afar. "Islas de Hermoso Fuego," I said sarcastically with a genuine smile.

"Sera, umuwi ka na." Of course, knowing Caleb, he didn't budge.

Mukhang nakukuha ko na ang rason kung bakit siya nandito. Somehow it became less of a worry and a part of me felt joy as I expected him to want me back again.

But still, I wanted to be firm with my decisions, for myself and for Calley. "I am where I belong, Caleb." I gave him the sweetest smile as I felt the sincerity of my words.

"Paano si Calley?" Caleb insisted. He was worried? E, halos sa akin niya nga ipaako ang buong pag-aalaga sa anak niya. Bago sa akin na marinig ito mismo kay Caleb kasi iba ang mga sinasabi niya tungkol sa bagay na ito noong magkasama pa kami.

I snorted. "Kaya ko siyang alagaan," I claimed obviously.

"Lalaki siyang hindi buo ang pamilya?" That statement shocked me a little bit. Tiningnan ko siya saglit mula ulo hanggang paa habang sinusubukang himayin ang sinabi niya. Hindi ko akalaing manggagaling sa kanya iyon. So I was taken a back.

I composed myself, stepped backward. I sighed, looked at him in the eyes, and smiled genuinely. Then stepped backwards, again and again, until I was about six feet away from him. "Alam ko, kasalanan ko 'yon, at pagbabayaran ko 'yon habang buhay. Kaya nga magpupursigi akong maging mabuting magulang para kay Calley. But I wouldn't forgive myself even more if she'll end up growing in a house with two broken people trying to fix themselves."

Caleb immediately gazed upon me in disbelief while shaking his head. "E, paano tayo?" So he was bringing that up.

"Wala ng tayo," I stated firmly. He didn't need explanations for that, he already knew the reason and that even made me stay here in Islas de Hermoso Fuego.

He gave me a grimace face, looking so frustrated. "Kasal tayo, Sera. Asawa mo ako." His hands even reach for mine as he went near me in an instant but I shifted my position so he didn't catch me. Napansin ko ang mariin niyang pagtago sa mga palad niya. And when I looked at him again, his eyes darkened.

But that didn't stop me. I want to voice out my decision. Gusto kong sabihin kahit man lang yung pagpili ko sa lugar na ito, kahit hindi na yung mga hinanakit o mga palaisipan ko mula noong nagsimulang magkagulo ang pamilya namin hanggang sa nanatili na ako rito. At sana kahit ngayon lang, pakinggan niya ako. "Sa tingin mo, ginusto kong mangyari ito sa 'tin? Sana naisip mo 'yan bago mo ako sinaktan."

"I know, Sera." He went near me. Sinubukan niya muling hulihin ang kamay ko at sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi ko iyon naiwasan. Masyadong mabilis at hindi ko inaasahan.

And I thought it would hurt me but no. . . Caleb caressed the back of my hand. "I know," he repeated. A sign of emphasis to the thought he was trying to convey. I suddenly felt weak with that thought and that gave him an access to hug me for the second time, then. . . .he whispered.

"That's why I changed."