Mine /Kylo Ren x Reader

•chapter 13•

Kylo

I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I held her in my arms as she drifted off to sleep, holding her close, not wanting to let her go. Ever.

I was embarrassed. Embarrassed with how I handled myself when I caught her with my grandfather's helmet. I could feel her while I finished with Snoke. I could feel the curiosity she had for everything. And then I felt the sheer terror inside her.

And it broke me.

I know how she feels, how terrifying the Dark side was at first. How suffocating it was. I felt like I was drowning.

But I succumbed to it.

And it was only a matter of time before she, too, gave into it.

Snoke knows about her. He could feel her the minute she stepped foot on StarKiller, just as I did. But I don't want Snoke anywhere near her. I know what he's capable of, and he could destroy her. Not only physically, but if he found her worth keeping, he would ruin her emotionally too.

Just like he has done to me.

I try to appease him, but everything I do, he expects more. I killed my father for him, and he regarded me like I was nothing. In fact, he tormented me about it, picking me apart, pointing out how it killed me to murder Han Solo.

Last night's meeting with him was nothing but torment. Snoke found out that Rey was at Canto Bight when we intercepted the Resistance. And he knew I didn't kill her.

"You're weak," he said. "Bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber," he mocked as he dug his talons into my throat. "You failed," and then, he swung his fist at me. My cheek throbbed but I just knelt before him, allowing him to continue his assault. "And now, that girl. She weakens you further. You're losing your way, Ren." He paced in front of me like a predator, waiting to devour its prey. "I can feel her strength. I can sense the Darkness inside her. If anything, Ren, she'll be stronger than you." He chuckled. "Not that that's a hard thing to accomplish," I remember standing to confront him, only to be thrown back in a bolt of lightning. "Pull yourself together, boy."

Princess stirred and nuzzled her head into my chest. She was warm against me. She had slept peacefully the whole night, yet I couldn't even shut my eyes. I just laid on my back, listening to her soft sighs and moans as she slept, her little body twitching against mine occasionally, my name falling from her lips.

Snoke was right about one thing; she was making me weak. And I hated it. I'm still capable of destroying everything around me, hell, I killed my own father for fuck sake. But when it comes to her, I lose myself. Every time I see her pretty face my insides liquidate. The kiss broke me. I told her I needed her, and it was true. If I lost her, I'd lose myself. I thought my outburst last night would've scared her off, instead she cradled me like the fucking child I am as I cried into her chest.

"You're weak,"

"Kylo," her husky voice pulled me back to reality.

I glanced down at her, she squinted up at me, her hair cascaded around her pretty face, mused from sleep.

"Good morning,"

She smiled. "Morning,"

My heart faulted in my chest. I could get used to waking up beside her. The dim lights above my bed lit up her pretty face, her eyes glinting underneath them. I could lay here all day. But the unresolved anger and embarrassment inside me felt otherwise.

"We need to get up," my voice was thick with exhaustion. "You have training today,"

She groaned as she rose to her elbows to look at me. "I'd much rather stay here today," she traced my scar again, possibly for the hundredth time with her forefinger. I tensed underneath her touch before grabbing her wrist to stop her.