Mine /Kylo Ren x Reader

•chapter 33•

Four years.

It's been four years since StarKiller was destroyed by the Resistance.

And it's been four years since Kylo Ren died.

The First Order had no base.

You were all forced back into the destroyer fleet. Well, what ever was left of it. The Finalizer hadn't been damaged, and neither had the Supremacy. The fleet had almost been halved. You had found out that there was so much more going on prior to the base being destroyed.

You didn't find out until the Command Shuttle docked in the Finalizer's hangar.

A lot had to be done after the battle of StarKiller. New ships had to be made in order to rebuild the fleet. For the first year, the First Order consisted of only a small number of destroyers and the Supremacy. There was a significantly reduced number in TIE fighters and Stormtroopers.

The First Order practically had nothing.

With Kylo gone, you struggled every day with your duties as Supreme Leader. You had the whole army sitting above your shoulders, and you had to make decisions regarding things you never had to make before in your life.

Some of them were easy to make, others, not so much.

Trying to figure out ways in which to have an entire new fleet built from scratch, along with the accompanying weaponry was probably one of the difficult decisions you had to make.

You strengthened ties with the First Order allies, and eliminated those who disobeyed.

You couldn't take anymore chances.

Every day you cried.

You missed him.

Every morning you woke up in his bed, clinging to anything that smelt like him. But as the years dragged on, his scent faded into nothing. You slept in his shirts, you kept all of his clothes. You couldn't bring yourself to get rid of any of his belongings.

You kept his and your saber on top of the dresser, and whenever you glanced over at it, memories of him flooded back to you.

The good, the bad, the ugly.

Ever since Kylo died, you had shut yourself off from the Force.

You had given up. You wanted it to all be over. You just wished everything could go back to normal.

But you knew it couldn't.

You stood from the bed, still only wearing Kylo's old t-shirt he would often wear when he lounged around his quarters and your underwear.

You stepped towards the dresser and gazed out of the large window above it.

Billions of stars twinkled in the vast expanse of space. The First Order were just creeping through space, with no place to call home, it's all you could do.

There was not a planet in site.

You pressed your hands against the wooden dresser and sighed, your eyes lingering down to Kylo's saber on top of the dresser.

You took in the rough hilt, admiring the exposed wires and the scrapes and dents in the black metal.

It was just...him.

"Mommy?"

You turned.

"Good morning, baby," a small smile touched your lips as you bent down and picked up your son.

Not long after StarKiller you found out you were pregnant. At first you thought it was a false positive. You had been unwell for some time after Kylo died, but you figured it was just because of how drained you were after everything. You went through so many tests with Lexa to find out if they were true or not.