Mine /Kylo Ren x Reader

•chapter 29•

Warning: blood and pain associated with miscarriages. Also some sexually explicit stuff (since it's been a while oops) and some more blood. And like, medical stuff.

Also pain associated with kylo bc I'm not done hurting him yet. Sorry xx Also if you see any errors, NO YOU DON'T XX

You had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Why were you in hospital? Why did everything feel so foreign? You knew where you were, but you just had no recollection about why you were there.

Why was Kylo in there with you? Why did he care? After everything he did to you, he still had the nerve to—

"I know this is a lot."

You jumped when Lexa spoke to you. She looked exhausted. Dark circles sat beneath her green eyes, and her skin looked so dull.

"What happened?" Your throat was still sore from having the tube pulled out not long ago.

"Your Silencer crashed. Kylo pulled you from the wreck. You were in pretty bad shape." She gazed at you, her arms crossed across her chest.

You frowned. "I don't have a Silencer—fuck—I—"

"You had a head injury. It's obviously causing you to have some retrograde amnesia." Her voice was soft.

Your mind was running wild. You tried focussing, tried remembering why you were in hospital and trying to remember the crash. But there was nothing. Your mind seemed to be in a heavy fog. The only thing you can remember is Kylo leaving you after his Knights fucked you.

And it was starting to become overwhelming.

"When can I get out of here?" You swallowed the lump in your throat. Nausea starting to creep into your gut.

Lexa sighed. "We'll have you in here for a few days just to keep an eye on you." She moved the trolley away with all of the surgical items. "You know," she turned back towards you, a sad look in her eyes. "Kylo has been in here with you ever since you were admitted."

Something kicked in your chest.

"What would make him want to do that?" You scowled. Was he just trying to make himself feel better about what he did?

"He—" she took a breath and gazed at you. "Maybe you should just ask him."

"I don't want anything to do with him." You spat. And it was true. He had hurt you, over and over again. He had no remorse. He just used you. And that's all he would do.

But still, deep down, you loved him. You loved him so much it made you sick, after everything he had done to you, it was wrong for you to love him. But you couldn't help yourself.

Besides, he wouldn't love you back.

He was incapable of love.

He was a monster that only cared about himself and himself only.

Lexa gave you a sad smile. "All I'm going to say is that Kylo was in here every day, and he was beating himself up about it. I've never seen him so upset."

You swallowed and looked away from her. "How long will I have this amnesia for?" Your voice shook as you gazed back up at her.

"We don't know. It all varies with different people." She said, placing her data pad up near your bed. "Just be patient. Don't beat yourself up about it. Eventually some things may come back to you."

All you could manage was a quick nod.

"Are you hungry?" Lexa tilted her head.

You gave her a small smile.