Mine /Kylo Ren x Reader

•chapter 25•

You had been in the med-bay for a few days.

Kylo dropped you off to have your wounds looked at, much to your disgust. You hated him touching you. You didn't want to be anywhere near him. But you were grateful he took you to med-bay anyways. You couldn't walk. Every part of you ached after the throne room.

You knew you had to kill your grandfather. Although it made you sick to your stomach, you knew it had to be done. Although you hated Kylo for what he did, you could never kill him. You still loved him. And you hated yourself for it. If you killed Kylo, you knew it would shatter you into a million tiny pieces. And if your grandfather was still alive, you knew he would torment you, just like Kylo. He would eventually drive you insane. You had no remorse.

The Resistance was dead, along with your grandfather.

Lexa cleaned and stitched your wounded shoulder—after crying about you leaving—and bandaged all of the other wounds. You knew you weren't a pretty sight. Grazes, bruises and scars now littered your body, and you couldn't bare to look at yourself in the mirror. You didn't want to see the damage caused by Rey.

Thankfully, Kylo hadn't been in to see you. You heard he had to have some stitches done as well after the throne room. You didn't know how the two of you were going to explain Snoke's death. It was suspicious. You returning after defeating the Resistance, then Snoke and his guards are found executed. It wasn't a good look.

Today was the day you were being discharged from the med-bay, and Lexa offered to walk you back to your quarters. You had no intention of staying in Kylo's. You would rather sleep inside one of the TIE fighters before you ever stepped foot into his quarters again. Hux and Pryde hadn't made the effort to see you, and you were glad. You needed to rest. Everything has hit you at once and you were still in an incredible amount of pain. Not to mention you were still carrying Kylo's child.

You had told Lexa about the pregnancy and how you wanted it terminated, but she wouldn't go through with it until Kylo knew what was going on. You weren't sure if she was trying to help you come to terms with it, or merely trying to keep her life. It wouldn't surprise you if Kylo had her killed because she didn't tell him about the terminated pregnancy.

Sooner or later you would have to talk to him about it, but you didn't have the energy to right now.

"You're already walking a bit better." Lexa smiled as she pulled her dark hair free of her pony tail.

"Doesn't mean it hurts any less," you grumbled as pain shot up through your back. "You didn't have to walk me back to my quarters."

"I'd be liable if something happened. Besides, Kylo wouldn't want you walking back on your own."

"I don't care what he thinks," You spat, "he's dead to me."

Lexa sighed and stopped outside your quarters. "I know you still love him. And I think he feels the same way. When you were gone he was distraught." A sad smile was plastered on her lips. "You need to talk to him about this baby."

Hearing the word baby or child made you sick to your stomach, purely because you wanted nothing to do with it. You knew Kylo wouldn't be keen on having a child. He's still too much of a child himself.

"When I can be bothered dealing with him, I'll speak to him." You huffed. "Thank you for bringing me back."

She stood there for a moment in silence, her eyes gazing into yours. "I hope the two of you can sort your shit out." She crossed her arms and shifted onto her other leg. "Because if you don't, I don't know how the Order will proceed. It needs It's Surpreme Leaders."

All you could do was nod your head before you stepped inside your quarters. A heavy sigh left your chest as you made your way over to your bed. You needed to shower, but you didn't have the energy to do so. You figured it'd be best to sleep off some of your pain and shower later.