Mine /Kylo Ren x Reader

•chapter 23•

Quick A/N!!

This chapter will have both Kylo and your POV, but I want to try and make Kylo's a third person POV just to see what it's like. To me it seems a lot easier. But we'll see how we go. If you guys don't like it obviously I'll change back to Kylo being in first person POV in the further chapters.

Kylo

"Ben,"

"No."

"Ben listen to me—"

"I'm not going to Uncle Luke's. I want to stay here with you and Mom." Tears rolled down the young boy's face. He didn't want to leave his family behind in order to seek out the Force with his Uncle. Ben would've much rathered trained beside his mother and father. With his mother, he would learn the ways of the force, and he would learn how to pilot multiple spacecrafts with his father.

But that simply wouldn't happen.

"Ben, you're much stronger than your mother. She can't teach you. Luke is the only way." Han stepped towards Ben, his hand gripping his bony little shoulder. Ben was much smaller in his adolescent years. Much smaller than the rest of his friends.

"I don't want to leave you, Dad." Ben gazed up into his fathers eyes, tears continuing to spill from his eyes. Dirt covered his face, his cheeks a rosy pink colour after playing with Chewbacca outside the Millennium Falcon.

"I know, son. But this is the only way." Han brought his son in for a reassuring embrace. But it only made Han shatter. "I love you, Ben."

Kylo awoke with a start, his heart pounded against his ribcage and sweat misted his skin. He had only managed to discard his shirt the previous night. He was still in his trousers and shoes from the night before. As he sat up, the room began to spin. Nausea overcame Kylo as he rose from his bed and headed to his bathroom.

Alcohol erupted from his mouth as he retched over his toilet, his matted hair falling in curtains around his eyes. His body was on fire as his stomach contents emptied into the bowl, but you were still the only thing on his mind.

Kylo flushed the toilet and wiped his mouth, finding his reflection in the backlit mirror. He was pale, dark circles remained under his eyes. He looked far from healthy, and the hangover definitely wasn't helping his case. After you told him you loved him, he seemed to lose all control over himself. Kylo knew what it was like to be loved, but everyone who ever loved him disappeared. He murdered his father under Snoke's influence. As much as it killed him to murder his own father, he had to do it to please Snoke. His father sent him away, that should've been a good enough reason to feel no remorse. But it split Kylo's soul in two. His mother simply gave up on him, sent him away to his uncle purely because she didn't want to be responsible for the mistakes Ben may have made. And from there, his uncle tried to kill him while he slept.

Ben's whole family turned their back on him. And no matter how many times they told him that they loved him, he never believed them.

Snoke was different. Although he coerced Ben to the Dark Side, he was always there as Ben Solo grew into Kylo Ren. He was always there when Kylo required guidance throughout life.

Not his father. Not his mother. Snoke.

It was always Snoke.

But now, it was you.

Kylo knew getting close to you would cause havoc in his life. He knew he would get distracted. But no matter how hard he tried to push you away, you kept coming back. You managed to crawl right back into the depths of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes he saw you. He saw all of you. He saw you at your most vulnerable, as well as your most powerful.