Imagine to @meg.uci!

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Imagine to @meg.uci

I stretched as I crawled out of bed, it was only 6 am, but I couldn't sleep anymore! Justin had been gone the last week because of some meeting he had in New York, and the weird part was that he didn't want me to come, he just told me to stay at home?

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, then I went downstairs and filled a glass with cold water. I grabbed two pills and swallowed them along with the water, it wasn't all my medicine, but I didn't think I would be needing more today.

Having schizophrenic wasn't easy, most people don't know the disorder, but sadly I did because I had had it since I was 10 or so.

So basically schizophrenia is a brain disorder in which people interpret reality abnormally.

It results in a combination of hallucinations, delusions, extremely disordered things and behavior.

People with schizophrenia may see or hear things that don't exist, speak in strange or confusing ways, believe that others are trying to harm them, or feel like they're being constantly watched, but luckily Justin was so understanding, and he stood by my side through everything, even though I sometimes could be pissed at him for things that he hadn't even done, but I had hallucinated or just generally believed, and I loved him for that!

I swallowed the last drop of water and placed my glass in the sink, then I went upstairs and took out my messy bun.

I went into the bathroom and turned on the water in the bathtub, then as it got filled I went back into the bedroom and grabbed my phone.

I went into the walk-in closet and grabbed some underwear, then I went back into the bathroom and stripped out of my clothes.

I got into the filled tub and sighed happily as I leaned back.

I unlocked my phone and immediately went into Twitter. I gulped harshly as I kept seeing pictures of Justin and Hailey all over my page, the pictures were taken yesterday, in New York, where Justin didn't want me to come.

On the pictures, they were laughing and I think they were holding hands in one of the pictures.

Immediately tears started running down my cheeks. How could he do this to me? Was this the reason why he didn't want me to come with him to New York? Was it because he wanted to hang out with Hailey, alone so he could make out with her without anyone seeing? Maybe even have sex?!

I groaned and locked my phone, then I got out of the water again and dried my body with a towel, and then I pulled on my underwear and went into the walk-in closet.

I grabbed a pair of boyfriend jeans, a white sweatshirt that said "Morning person", then I pulled on a pair of Adidas superstar shoes. I went downstairs and grabbed my Bordeaux coat and pulled it on, then quickly I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and grabbed my back, and then I left for the airport.

I had to pick up Justin around 8.30, so even though I was mad at him, I still kept my promises.

As I arrived at the airport thousand and thousands of girls were standing outside the airport.

I pulled on my shades and walked inside, then I went over to gate 3 and sat down.

There was still half an hour until Justin's plane would arrive, so I killed some time by looking through Instagram, where I once again saw a bunch of photos of Justin and Hailey. It was easy to see that they had something for each other, which made me furious because Hailey was my friend, and she told me that there was nothing between them, which I trusted, but I totally didn't anymore!

I groaned and slammed my phone down into the table, then suddenly two hands wrapped around my eyes, which made me scream in horror! Was someone really going to rape me in an airport?

"Relax baby, it's me" Justin suddenly said as he removed his hands from my eyes. I scoffed and stood up, then I grabbed my bag and started walking away from him.

"Come on! You can't be mad at me for surprising you" Justin whined as he followed me.

"I'm not mad at you for covering my eyes, I'm mad at you for cheating on me!" I told him, Justin chuckled and shook his head.

"I didn't cheat on you," he told me as he grabbed my hand and made me stop.

I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around. Justin was smiling widely, which made me furrow my eyebrows even more.

"But you and Hailey-" I said, but Justin interrupted me,

"Don't worry baby, Hailey is only a friend, and she happened to be in New York the same time as me" he explained. I gulped and immediately tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry" I sobbed, Justin awed and wrapped his arms around me.

"I just thought I saw you guys kissing and holding hands," I told him. Justin picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"It's okay baby, I understand," he told me. I hid my head in his neck and sobbed loudly.

"Did you take your medicine this morning?" he whispered in my ear as he walked out towards our car. I nodded my head and sniffled.

"I did, but not all of it," I told him.

"You have to baby, it's not good for you to go a day without your medicine," he told me. I nodded my head and jumped down from his arms as we made it to the car.

Since I wasn't really fully myself yet Justin drove home, but I liked that because he would have his left hand on the wheel and his right hand resting on my knee.

"Wanna tell me how you feel?" Justin asked me as we made it home. I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

"I feel like a devil is taking over my mind, I can't control myself, it's all in my head" I whispered, Justin nodded his head and picked me up.

"I can't do this anymore Justin! It's like someone's trying to ruin my life" I said as I started sobbing again. Justin shushed at me and rubbed my bag as he walked upstairs and into our bedroom. He gently placed me on the bed and pecked my forehead.

"I'll be right back with your medicine, what pills did you take?" he asked me as he caressed my cheek gently.

"The pink and the yellow" I quietly told him as I pulled the covers over my body.

"Okay, try to stay awake" he whispered as I closed my eyes, I nodded my head and yawned. Justin knew I had a hard time staying awake after I had one of my "situations".

I just managed to stay awake until Justin came back with a big glass of water and a few other pills.

I sat up, and Justin handed me the pills, I put them in my mouth and grabbed the glass, then I took a sip and swallowed the pills. I placed the glass on the nightstand and laid down again.

"Go to sleep baby, you need it! And when you wake up I'll be right here by your side" Justin said as he laid down beside me. He took off his shirt and pants and then pulled the covers over his body, too.

"Thank you," I told him, then I placed my head on his naked chest and pecked it.

"I love you," I told him, then I slowly drifted into a deep sleep with the sound of Justin's voice saying "I love you, too".

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-Amalie xo


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