It's a Funny Story

Bottom Bumper Stickers

1. I Tina Yothers 
2. D.A.R.E. To Keep Cops Off Payola 
3. Marines - Kill All That You Can Kill 
4. Visualize World Suicide 
5. Don't Like My Driving? Dial
1-800-POUR-ME-A-BIG-FROTHY-MUG-OF-FECES. 
6. Klingons Make Me Violently Horny. 
7. My Other Car is a Sex Slave Wearing a Saddle 
8. Spoiled Sissy On Board 
9. My Other Car Also Compensates For My Miniscule Penis 
10. Honk If Vinyl Seats Give You Ass Sweats! 
11. I Brake For Peyote-Induced Talking Coyotes 
12. Keep On Truckin' Yuppie Scum! 
13. Albino Toddler: The Other White Meat 
14. Honk if You Love Lawsuits! 
15. I'm the NRA - And I Wipe! 
16. America: Love It or Bomb Its Mid-Western Bureaucratic
Outposts 
17. Honk if You're Trapped in a Loveless Marriage 
18. Will Blow For Work, Will Work For Blow. 
19. Cancer Makes The Heart Grow Fonder. 
20. My Child Was Inmate of The Month at The Spiro T. Agnew
Maximum Security Federal Corrections Facility 
21. Inflammatory Political Rhetoric! 
22. Never Underestimate The Power Of A Hot Steamin' Dump! 
23. A Bad Day of Cruising Hookers Beats a Good Day of Work 
24. Jesus Loves You (Unless You're a Jew or a Towelhead) 
25. I Brake for Topless Carwashes. 
26. Drive American, or Bend Over, Boy! 
27. I Met My Bawdy Wench at the Williamsburg Renaissance Faire! 
28. Nevada is for Whoremongers. 
29. If The Good Lord Had Wanted Me To Do The Dishes, He Wouldn't
Have Given Me This Big Floppy Ass To Sit On! 
30. Lose Teeth Now! Ask Me How! 
31. Honk If My Passive-Aggressive Driving Style Enrages You 
32. If You Can Smell Human Flesh Rotting In My Trunk, You're
Driving Too Damn Close! 
33. Follow Me For Great Barium Enemas! 
34. Florida Ballot Counters Do It Over And Over And Over... 
35. When Fisting Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Fists. 
36. Vegans Do It Sans Meatus 
37. Boy Band On Board. 
38. Unless You're My Girlfriend's Lavishly Lubricated Finger
Poised To Plunge In And Tickle My Prostate At The Moment Of
Climax... GET OFF MY ASS!
39. Driver Carries Less Than One Ounce Crystal Meth-Amphetamine. 
40. Will Work For Stock Options. 
41. This Car Protected By Satanic Voodoo Curse. 
42. Don't Mess With Texas. That Goes DOUBLE For Yankees and
Mexicans. 
43. Honk if You Love Jesus - Fart if You Love Chalupas! 
44. If It's Too Loud, You're Just Unable to Appreciate the
Hideously Distorted Noise Pounding From My Cheap Speakers 
45. Thinking Globally And Acting Locally Is For Pussies. 
46. If the Good Lord Wanted Us To Eat Salad, He Woulda Made
Plants Bleed. 
47. USA - We Got the Nukes! 
48. Have You Hugged Your Debutante Crack Whore Today? 
49. And on the 8th Day, God Abused Sacramental Wine 
50. If This Van's a' Rockin' - I'm Probably Deflowering Your
Teenager