It's a Funny Story

stuff i find on facebook

I like Koala bears 'cause they're just sat there like "Hey, I'm a Koala bear. I know I'm not really a bear, I'm a marsupial with my babies chillin' in my pouch, but I'm cool with that if you are. I'm really good at giving hugs but it's fine if you don't want one, I'm happy to hug this tree and munch on some eucalyptus, 'cos I'm laid back like that.

Doctor-I have some very bad news.
Patient-What is it, doc?
Doctor-You don't have very long to live.
Patient-That's terrible! How long do I have?
Doctor-Ten.
Patient-Ten? Ten what?
Doctor-Nine

i love sheep, they just sit around in their fields baaing randomly. Its like hey there, im a sheep and im gonna stand here with my friends, maybe munch on some grass later, perhaps a bit of sun bathing and i'll act totally cute because im a sheep:)

Facebook should add "Player" as a relationship status...

-Do you speak English?
-Yes
-Name?
-Adolf Bumin.
-Sex?
-3 to 5 times a week.
-No, I mean..male/female?
-Yes, male,female and sometimes camels.
-Holy cow!
-Yes, cows, sheep...Animals in general.
-Oh dear,
-No, deer runs too fast.

A Boy Tells His Girlfriend She Has His Heart The Girl Is Flatterd.
A Couple Of Days Later The Girl Finds Out She Needs A Heart Transplant The Boy Is Tearing.
As The Girl Goes For The Operation The Boy Stands Watching.
The Girl Wakes Up To A Note By Her Side Saying
"I told you you have my heart i love you x"

I like chameleons because they're so cool. They won't harm anyone. They're just like "hey man, I'm gonna just use my over-long tongue and eat some flies, maybe I'll change color later, then climb some more, but not yet, 'cause I'm just taking my time, 'cause I'm a chameleon."

girl : You remind me of the sea.. boy : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? girl : NO, because you make me sick

Boy: Wanna hear a joke about my dick?......
Girl: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it's funny because you don't have a dick!
Boy: Not what your mum said last night

 *Has A Drink*
Friend 1: Do you want the rest of my drink?
Friend 2: What did you do to it?
Friend 1: Nothing? *cheeky smile*
Friend 2: WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT?
Friend 1: NOTHING?!
Friend 2: Then why are you laughing?
Friend 1: Because there's nothing left in it. :)

What is your password? I said mine!
The password is secret!
I said mine password your turn!
But the password is secret!
Omg Pleeease!!! I said mine !
Shuld i spell it for you? S-E-C-R-E-T!

"Dude, she just called you a Harry Potter-nerd!" "OH HELL NO! Hold my wand!" "Why?" "Because I'm not aloud to use magic outside school.."

-In Hospital-
Patient: "How long to I have to live?"
Doctor: "About 15."
Patient: "15 what? Weeks? Days? Hours?
Doctor: "Ehh maybe 10..."
Patient: "10 what?!"
Doctor: "Wait nevermind, 5."
Patient: "5 WHAT?!"
Doctor: "Seconds..."
Patient: "Aww crap. -____-"

Girl says: Ok im having my operation
Boy says : (nothing)
*Girl lays on operating bed*
-
Boy stands there with watery eyes, he says i love you.
**Girl finishes heart transplant, the boy is gone**
-
Girl says: Mum, where is he?
Mum says: They didn't tell you whos heart they gave you, didn't they??

oy: Hey!
Girl: Hi..
Boy: ..What's wrong?
Girl: Do you really want to know?
Boy: No. I guess I ask questions that I don't want to know the answer to.
Girl: Oh..
Boy: Of course I want to know!