Holding The Man Minizerk

Down in The Deep ( 14 )

Joshua Bradley's POV A Couple of Days Later

I really wanted to punch something, and I don't know why. I had some much unwanted anger in me and it was driving me nuts. All these little things were killing me.

I heard my name being said by almost everyone in this house and I don't know why but I feel anxiety, am I causing to much trouble for them? I understand Freya was quite annoying but that's solved and I know I got into a car crash but surly I haven't caused to much trouble. Then Simon was acting fair awkward last night and for some reason it both worried me and frightened me. I'm just afraid they are fed up of me and my problems in all honesty I'm fed up with myself.

I've been texting Sam a lot but I think she likes me more then I like her, Ive though it over and I just like her as a friend, but I don't want to hurt her at the same time. She was thinking of coming over to the house to see me work some day but she never said when.

I sat up from my bed and walked downstairs to see Simon, JJ and Vik once again whispering. My aniexty levels were rising and I felt like the new kid at school. I grabbed a Dr pepper and walked straight back upstairs afraid of what they might say.

I was tempted to go out just for a walk, I wasn't usual one to walk around by myself but I just felt like some fresh and some alone time might calm my nerves a bit.

I tugged on my shoes and grabbed my sidemen hoddie and warm jacket seeing as it was raining. I grabbed my phone, money and some ear phones and walked down the stairs.

"Where are you going Josh?" JJ questioned confused.

"Just out for a bit" I shrugged as I exited the house.

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"First he didn't talk to us and now his going out in the rain?" Vik questioned.

"Josh usual uses his spare time to sleep? The only time he goes outside is to play Pokemon go and he didn't have a camera" Simon frowned concerned of his friend.

"His been weird all week" JJ frowned.

"What do you mean?" Simon said quickly.

"He seems just really annoyed, I don't know why and his just extremely quiet when out of his room" JJ shrugged.

"I'll try talk to him when he gets back" Simon sighed.

The front door was opened and closed and they all glanced hoping it would be Josh but it was instead Tobi and Harry. Everyone let out a sigh.

"Were you expecting the queen or what" Tobi said taking off his jacket.

"Thought I'd get a hello but no" Harry said as he went straight to the fridge.

"We thought you were Josh" Simon shrugged.

"We saw him walking down the road with his hood up" Harry said as he munched on some crisps.

"Has he been acting weird" Tobi questioned.

"Yeah his been really annoyed and quiet" Vik shrugged.

The gang glanced as Tobi let out a sigh.

"Let me talk to him when he gets back" Tobi said as he sat next to Simon.

"You know what's wrong with him" Simon exclaimed.

"Let's just say his not in a good place at the moment and he thinks almost everything is his fault and that people dislike him" Tobi said glancing at Simon.

"How could anyone hate Josh" Harry said sitting on the counter.

"I don't think anyone can he just had that stuck in his head that everyone does" Tobi said sadly.

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Joshua Bradley's POV

I entered the pound shop passing the time. I glanced around at the variety of things. Everything being 1 pound or 1 pound.

"I'm sorry" an old woman said tapping my shoulder I turned to her and she smiled sweetly.

"You wouldn't be able to get that kitchen roll up there for me would you?" She questioned politely. I smiled and nodded and reached up and got it for her. I handed it and she smiled gratefully.

"Thank you so much" She said smiling and pulling her basket behind her.

"At least I'm useful to someone" I muttered quietly to myself.

I ended up buying myself a copy book and sweets because I am a child.I walked out the shop with a plastic bag and just wondered around town. Most shops were now closed seeing as it was 6.

I don't think I've had just a normal walk where I wasn't playing Pokemon go in 8 years. It was weird at the start but I'm starting to like it, I might make this something I do in my spare time, would be pretty sick if I had a dog to walk it would give me an excuse to go out.

Entering the front door, I'm dragged upstairs by Tobi.

"What the fuck Tobi?" I questioned confused.

"Sit" he ordered. I frowned and sat down.

"What's up?" Tobi questioned pulling my gaming chair towards where I sat. I just shrugged.

"JJ said you were annoying for some reason? And quiet?" Tobi said knowing there was I'm fact something wrong. I've known Tobi for a long time,knowing I could trust him I let myself go. I let myself ramble on about my stupid problems.

"I'm angry and I don't know why, I'm annoyed and I don't know why!?"

"Im not attracted to Samantha!? She's beautiful and funny and she's so kind but all I feel is friendship. She seems to like me a lot and she cares a lot but I just don't like her and I don't understand why? My heart is just stopping me from liking anybody"

"Then there Vik, JJ and Simon I hear them whispering, I've heard them say my name! I'm afraid their fed up if my problems between Freya and that Stupid car crash I just feel like I'm bothering them and they want me out of the house, out of the sidemen" I said pulling my hands over my face as I finished my ranting.

"Josh you need to calm down take a minuet. Your not just going to be able to like someone after being destroyed by Samantha and your heart is still mending just give it time" Tobi began, I nodded.

"The guys aren't fed up with you, they don't want you to leave the house or the sidemen! You know and they know that they'd fall apart of that happened. I know you get angry and hide it but sometimes you just got to let it out" Tobi said patting my shoulder.

I stood up and so did Tobi, I hugged him tightly something he didn't expect.

"Jesus Josh" Tobi chuckled. "love you to man" Tobi said as we let go of each other. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Come on downstairs and talk you odd ball" Tobi said as we walked downstairs.