"Spencer he's not answering his phone" I say.
"It isn't like him to leave like this"
I pace around the apartment with the phone between my shoulder and ear.
"You told him to leave. You wanted him to leave and now you're regretting it" Spencer tells me "you can't just say that and then change your mind"
"I was just so angry, Spence" I say, motioning with my hands something I'd always did. "You have to understand"
"I do, Ar. But you can't get mad now that he's actually gone. You wanted that" She says and I nod although she can't see that.
"I know, but I don't want that now" I whisper but she heard me.
"I'll check the brew and the apartment" She says and I silently cheer.
"The key. It's under the welcome mat" I tell her.
"I'll call you back as soon as I know anything" She says before hanging up.
I regret everything that I said. I just want him here with me. I don't want to spend one more second without him ever. I don't care that he kissed Nicole. I'll put it past us. I'll forgive him. All I want is him. I want him here with me. I want to wrap my arms around his warm body. I want to kiss his soft lips. I want to wake up next to him every morning. I want to start a family with him. I want to die when I'm 100 years old in his arms. I don't ever want to let him go. But some how, I managed to fail at all the things I want. I had lost him and I was pretty sure it was for good.
