In Between Seasons

Chapter 7

We had been running for hours, and I fought hard to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, but no matter what, I wasn't as graceful as Hunter. The forest around my family had been somewhat cleared, and I had been able to run through the flat land easily. Now, I found we were running up and down hills, through eddies and across creeks, and not only that, logs and twigs seemed to be on attack. They constantly tripped me, smacked me or ripped at the bare skin of my arms and grasped onto my shirt.

As the time passed I became more accustomed to our pace, and my mind drifted to my old home. Frustration took over my body and forced me to run faster. Was Trevor a General? What other rankings were there? And did everyone know except me? I glanced over my shoulder at Hunter, who was still holding my hand. At first it felt awkward, but over time I got used to it, and we were now keeping pace with one another and running as one. I had a feeling his less than labored breathing meant he was going slower for my sake, but he didn't let on as he continued to push forward at whatever pace I set. I wondered how much he would tell me of what he knew, but I had to face the fact he wouldn't know the truth of what was happening behind my family's exterior. He would only know what he observed or was told. Maybe I could piece together the truth from his knowledge of the functioning of this world, and my knowledge of the way they had been around me...to me. A shiver rushed over me as I remembered the coldness of my family, if you could call it that.

I never heard the words I love you, and I never felt the embrace of Father or Mother. The only time they showed emotion was to each other, but Sara always thought I was the favorite. I grunted as I jumped over a log and my foot caught on it. I lost my footing along with Hunter's hand and ended up speeding face first to the forest floor. My mind was launched to the only person who had ever shown any emotion towards me, Trevor.

I had been running through the forest with him chasing me. He had been seventeen, and I had been sixteen. We had been spending a lot of time together, and we had even managed to sneak off a couple of times to be alone. Our parents hadn't said anything about it, and it was a welcome distraction from the bore of everyday life. I had never truly fallen for him, and I had never truly found him attractive, but he gave me something I had never had, some sort of love. I had fallen straight on my face then, too.

"Kate!" Trevor had yelled as I toppled to the ground.

I turned and rolled as he tripped over the same log I had. We burst out laughing together, and Trevor pulled me into his arms as we lay on the ground. I placed my head on his chest as it slowly stopped moving from laughter and rose easily with his breathing.

"Kate?" he whispered as he moved my hair away from my face and down my back.

I folded my hands on his chest and leaned my chin on them as I looked down at him.

"Yes?" I asked.

He tilted on his elbows and took my face in his hand, stroking my lip with his thumb. I didn't feel any electric shock, or emotion, but his voice was soft. It melted a part of me that had become cold after years of being shunned for my questions.

"I think I love you," he whispered, but the vacant look in his eyes didn't match his words. It was as if he had been instructed to tell me. Still, he let his lips drift against mine, soft and then more convincing.

I hadn't responded, or returned the words, but I had let him kiss me and hold me to him. I had hollowed myself as I gave myself over to him, because I wanted to feel something. I didn't though, in the end, I hadn't felt anything. I hadn't felt love. I wasn't sure it existed.

As I plummeted to the forest floor again, I felt everything from the excruciating pain of my muscles as they were forced to stop, to the concerned look in Hunter's eyes as he leaned down to prop me up. His eyes sunk into me and past my toughened exterior, to the part of me I kept hidden. The part of me I had written in those books that I only hoped remained hidden in my tree—a tree I would never see again.