In Between Seasons

Chapter 30

The snow was too deep for the men to do any outdoor training, so the group Hunter would have been training outside had joined us in the common room. During the winter Hunter apparently split the group in two, one group outside and one inside in the gym in the basement. This made it so not everyone was outside in the cold all the time, with the exception of him. The cold didn't matter to him and being locked inside the house with the men didn't appeal to him, so today was definitely not one of his favorite days. I knew I was going stir crazy, but Hunter's eyes showed it was far worse for him. His eyes flashed between me and the darkness that hung over him in the whispered conversations with his men over the pool tables. I had strained my ears so many times to hear them over the TV that I no longer had to try. Most of the time the conversation was about training schedules and what orders were to be given next, but other times it was so crude I stopped listening as soon as I heard it. I picked up my name in their conversation, and turned my head slightly so I could hear better.

"Kate's banging Hunter, but I'm starting to think she's not a prisoner at all. You couldn't have her if you wanted her. You couldn't force her to do something she didn't want to," Charlie said, his voice deep and not in the slightest way respectful.

The thought of being forced to do anything as POW was disgusting to me, and I knew Hunter felt the same way from the look on his face.

"I think you need to stop thinking. You're hurting that tiny brain of yours," Hunter's voice was stiff as he stood. "Kate, let's go."

"Sure," I replied, getting up and walking towards the door with him. When he was close enough I whispered, "Push me up against the wall and kiss me."

"No, I won't do that for them," he replied in a hushed voice as his eyes flashed.

I could feel the sweat building on my palms as I pushed, "They need to believe you're just like them. Isn't that something they'd do?"

He shook his head before turning and pushing me up against the wall. Even though I had told him to do it the movement still knocked the breath right out of me.

He was going to kiss me.

Oh, shit! He's going to kiss me!

Hunter pressed his forehead to mine as he pushed my hands up against the wall until our fingers entwined. His lips didn't move as he whispered, "I'm sorry."

His lips crushed into mine softer than I would have ever thought from his hardened exterior, and the breath was knocked out of me again as I kissed him back. Someone whistled, and Hunter pressed his lips harder against mine as he kissed me one last time before pulling away. He swept me into his arms and carried me outside before placing me on the ground. We walked up the stairs into his apartment silently, and he shut the door before turning to face me.

"I'm sorry," he said, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead with his hands.

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked as he opened his eyes. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

"That's not what I would've thought our first kiss would be—me pinning you to a wall and forcing you to kiss me..." Hunter's hands went into his hair, and my heart into my throat.

He thought about kissing me?

"I hate it when I have to do something to keep up this charade," Hunter said, throwing his hands up as he began to pace.

"Was it bad?" I asked, feeling as though my heart was pounding through my stomach. Oh, God...

He stopped pacing, and our eyes locked on one another. "That's not what I meant..."

"What did you mean?" I whispered.

"Let me show you..." He stepped forward and looked down at me as he caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. My body trembled as his hand moved to cup my cheek, while his other rested on the small of my back and pulled our bodies together. His eyes searched mine before he tilted my lips up to his own, his breath washing over me, a tease, as he whispered, "I would've wanted to kiss you more like this."

He kissed me once so lightly I could barely feel his lips, and it was almost too much for me to bear letting him be so controlled in his emotions. He seemed to read my mind as the kiss grew more intense, crushing our lips together as his tongue spread open my mouth and danced over my own. My brain stopped working, and all I could think and feel was him. My hands reached up and slid into his hair as my mind slipped away, and my lips drifted over the stubble of his chin and then to his neck. He sighed as he lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as my head tilted back to let his lips caress my neck. He laid me delicately on the bed as his body hovered above mine, teasing me with its warmth. I longed for the weight of him over me and let my hands slip down his back before pulling his waist to mine. My body trembled as his belt buckle rubbed against my skin where my shirt had risen. Hunter's lips found mine again far more patient than my own, and I rose against them, pushing back hungrily. He pulled away and kissed my neck before his lips trailed up to graze my ear.

"You know I'm not going anywhere, right?" he whispered, and I felt my chest rise against his as my heart hammered beneath the thin fabric separating our skin.

I turned my head so our eyes met, and my chest tightened. With just that look I knew we shared more than this physical need for our bodies together, he needed this feeling—one that I could barely understand as I stared back at him. This was more than the heat of our bodies...this was the connection we shared. His patience slipped away, and his lips found mine again, now desperate with that feeling. It overtook me as I slipped my hands under his shirt and pulled it over his head, kissing the scars of war that forbade this love. His body trembled beneath me, and I realized he may never have lost this much control. There was no pleasure in the knowledge, because I was just as much at his mercy.

As if he knew this, he pulled me up, his hands slipping up the back of my shirt as his mouth nuzzled my collarbone, and my back arched into him. I felt the smile on his lips before they left my body so he could slip the shirt over my head. He pressed me back into the softness of the bed; his hands trailing down my sides and then back up to push my arms over my head. His lips hovered over my skin as his hands tangled in mine, but his kissing stopped—and his breathing quickened as he struggled with the emotions overtaking us. I swallowed as the moment lengthened, and I felt his forearms tense against my own.

"Hunter?" I whispered, unable to see his expression with his forehead pressed against my heaving chest. His breathing increased, and I felt the cold tingling of fear rushing up my veins as he remained silent. "What's wrong?" I asked as his hands loosened from mine, and he pushed himself up, still hovering over me with his head tilted so I couldn't see his face.

"We can't," he said, his voice trembling as his body did the same. "Not like this...not here. I don't want to give into what they think I should do."

"You haven't forced me to do anything." I felt myself unraveling. "If you didn't want to kiss me you didn't have to!"

He looked up at me and shook his head as he stood. The darkness was in his eyes again, and I knew there was no way for me to fight to get him back. He found his shirt and pulled it back on before running his hands through his hair. He looked at me sitting shirtless on his bed and shook his head again. His eyes were too distant for me to understand what he was thinking, and I watched helplessly as he turned and left the room. I didn't know how long I sat there with my knees pulled to my chest, staring at the door but finally what happened sunk in, and I found myself curling into a ball to sob myself to sleep.

My feelings were out of my control, and I realized I was utterly and completely in love with Hunter Marks—General, Murderer,

Kidnapper...Rescuer, Savior.

And the worst part was, he wouldn't let himself love me back.