In Between Seasons

Chapter 40

Losing track of time was something I was becoming very good at. At my parent's Tribe it had been easy to lose myself in whatever I was doing, but I always knew what day, year, and time it was. Here everything blurred together, one day into the next, one hour into the next. It was all a matter of waiting. We were constantly waiting for something, but there were times when it all came to a standstill. When I walked into the common room and Mara practically tackled me I realized it was going to be one of those days.

"Kate, finally you came to join us!" Mara said, her hands on my shoulders as her smile dimpled into her reddened cheeks.

"Am I missing something?" I asked as she dragged me further into the common room.

"She's here! Now we can go!" Mara called to the crowd of displeased women with their backs to us.

Their heads slowly turned in unison, each with an equally displeased frown on their faces as they stood with their arms crossed.

Amy came around the couch, stopping and popping out her hip as she replied, "Yippee, let's get on with it then."

"What's going on?" I asked, and Mara linked her arm in mine. She marched me out the front door and down the steps with the other women trailing us.

"It's time to pick the Christmas tree!" she replied, and she breathed in the winter air as I choked on it. I stopped in my tracks as my vision blurred, and the blood rushed through my ears.

"What?" I managed to whisper-choke out.

"Christmas tree! Don't look so upset! We just mark it with this little ribbon here," she replied, shaking the red satin in my face with a playful smile. "And then Hunter and the boys go and get it and bring it in for us to decorate later!"

"Yeah, sounds fun," I said, my voice flat as I stared into the distance.

Christmas. It was that time of year already. I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat as Mara cocked her head at me, her brow furrowing in concern.

"I think I've missed something?" Mara asked, squeezing my arm as the group wove around us.

"No." I shook my head a little too vehemently, and her eyes widened in disbelief. I leveled my voice as I continued, "You're not missing anything,"

She sighed but didn't press the subject, especially when I jogged off to catch up to the others. I went through the movements with them, but I didn't feel like I was all there.

It's just a tree.

I hadn't given much input on it, and I just nodded when Mara asked me what I thought of the one she was standing at. She then easily received the approval of the other women who were shivering and as agitated as I was. She gave me a big smile as she tied the bow on the tree and stepped back to admire it.

"It's perfect!" she said, linking her arm in mine.

"Sure is!" I seconded, giving her a fake smile that made her own twitch.

Still, she didn't push it, even when I excused myself as soon as the house came into view. I went up to the apartment and stared at myself in the mirror before splashing water on my face.

It's just a tree. I swallowed as I dried my face. A Christmas tree.

I shook my head, eyes closed as I swallowed. When I opened them I stared back at my pale reflection before going to the loveseat and opening the book I borrowed from the library. I stared down at the pages trying to forget what this time of year meant. The unease in my stomach continued, and when Hunter came through the door I jumped, slamming the book shut.