Monologues for the Young Actor [Monologue Collection]

5. A Little Homicide (C)

a person with homicidal tendencies ponders how they ended up in prison 

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Est. Run Time: 1:00.00-1:05.00

Suggested Props: none

Suggested Costuming: an orange jumpsuit OR a black-and-white-striped one

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I don't understand people. I mean, a little homicide, and suddenly you're topping the charts. Well, topping the most wanted lists, at least. And that's something, right?

Seriously. It's not like a little homicide ever killed anyone. If anything, we should welcome it. The Earth's already overpopulated as it is. It would be great if people just stopped having kids. Ugh, kids. Kids, kids, kids. Do not get me started on kids.

They're menaces, those little devils are. They're the real criminals here, running around free and screaming and shouting and disturbing the peace.

Take my neighbor's kid, for example. *clenches hands* He was so annoying that I just...well, I guess that's why I'm in here, eh? Sheesh. Kill someone's kid, and they want you imprisoned. I was doing them a favor! But they were just too dumb to see that.

*sighs* I just don't understand people.

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Notes: Another one of my favorites. I used this one to audition for a musical theatre intensive, which I successfully got into and will be attending this summer. It's a good, fun, quick little monologue that definitely stands out, and usually it stands out in a fun, quirky way, thankfully. Just be careful with this monologue. If you feel the audience may be sensitive to this subject matter, don't perform this monologue. You definitely don't want to stand out in a bad way.