Monologues for the Young Actor [Monologue Collection]

10. Death by Hiccups (C)

a teenager ponders the purpose of hiccups and why they always come at the worst times  

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Est. Run Time: 1:00.00

Suggested Props: none

Suggested Costuming: none

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Ya know what'll be the death of me? Hiccups.

Honest. Hiccups are out to get me, I swear. It seems like they always happen at the worst of times—during tests, at funerals, on dates with insanely good-looking people, at auditions...ha, funny story there.

So I just tried to audition for a serious character in a serious play, and right as I read a line accusing another character of murder—hic! There they went again! *laughs sarcastically* Obviously, I didn't even make callbacks.

What's even the point of hiccups? I don't get it. They're completely pointless. *pauses* Well, there was that one time in grade school when I was being bullied, and I hiccupped, and it sounded so terrifying that it scared the bullies off...and that time I got the hiccups halfway through my audition, and I got the lead role because of it. But that was only because the lead role was a frog! *said in a complete deadpan* Ribbit.

*sighs* Really. I honestly don't get—hic! Oh, darn, here wego again—hic! [I need to go get some water. *exits*] 

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I love this one, and although I have never performed this one live for an audience before, I am hoping that I can sometime soon. (And with college auditions coming up, who knows....) This one is fun, cute, and it's pretty short and sweet. I wouldn't recommend children doing it, necessarily (because of the murder line—although that may be edited out if you wish and changed to accusing someone of "stealing a cookie" or something), but definitely anyone from younger to older teens could definitely pull it off.