Monologues for the Young Actor [Monologue Collection]

8. Drama Queen--Erm, Stable-Boy (C)

a drama queen is not amused to discover that she has been cast as the stable-boy in a show 

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Est. Run Time: 1:15.00

Suggested Props: a piece of paper (for the "cast list")

Suggested Costuming: something prissy

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Ah, the cast list. *reads paper and becomes angry* Excuse me?! *points at paper accusingly* When you offered me a role, Mr. Director, sir, you said that I'd have the leading female role. This, I assure you, is most certainly not a lead role. You cast me as the stable-boy. Stable-boy?! That's not even a female role!

I hereby demand that you recast this entire play! I'm supposed to be the star! I'm supposed to have all the good lines! I'm supposed to have the dashing prince charming and live happily ever after! But nooo, I'm the dumb ol' stable-boy, and I have an ass, not a prince. Like, an actual donkey! I even die in the end, and my one line is, "Yee-haw! Ride 'em, cowgirl princess!" I shouldn't be the one saying that. Someone else should be saying it to me!

*pauses* ...You say there's another role I could be? Yes, please, anything but this horrific role! What is it? *pauses again*

An audience member?! Well, I never! You don't need to fire me anyway, because I quit! *throws paper in the air* *stomps off huffily*

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Notes: I love this one. It's so much fun to play uppity characters. I performed this one as a part of my midterm in an intermediate theatre class this past school year, and, suffice to say, it was a big hit. I also had way too much fun throwing down the paper "cast list" at the end....