Monologues for the Young Actor [Monologue Collection]

12. Taco Bell (C)

someone has a really weird visit to Taco Bell...or a really weird dream  

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Est. Run Time: 1:45.00-2:00.00

Suggested Props: none

Suggested Costuming: none

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You know, the oddest thing happened to me the other day at a Taco Bell....

It was my lunch break, so I decided to try going to the new Taco Bell that they put up at the corner of the street. *pantomimes walking* I walked down and peered in. *peers in a "window"* Nobody was in there...I guess Taco Bell wasn't really that popular around there or something.

Anyway, it seemed like a fine place to eat—no flies or creepy people or anything—so I walked in. *opens "door" and walks in* Only, the second that I walked in, a mariachi band jumped from out of nowhere and began playing music right in my face. Nearly gave me a heart attack! *shrugs* I guess that they're trying a new way of advertisement.

I somehow managed to ignore the mariachi band, so I went over to order lunch. Only there was no one at the counter. I looked around, calling, "Hello? Is anyone there?" *looks around*

All of a sudden, this girl jumped out from behind the counter. *pantomimes jumping* She pressed a few buttons on the register and said cheerfully, "One order of everything, coming right up!"

Now, I was certain that I had misheard her. I was on a diet—there's no way I could've eaten that much! ...Not anymore, at least. My metabolism isn't what it was ten years ago.... But then I literally got ten trays of food. And the girl said it was zero dollars, too! Zero dollars?! That is not how you run a business, people! I should know. There's a reason I don't have my own business anymore. I learned from experience.

I tried to return the food, but the girl had disappeared. I had no way to carry it all to the table, so I just grabbed one with good-looking food on it and left the rest.

I sat down and was about to eat when suddenly someone sat down next to me. I hadn't heard them come in at all! And why were they right next to me?

I looked at the person, and to my surprise, it was Justin Beiber. What?! But he was deported back to Canada or something last I checked! Why was he here, at this creepy Taco Bell with me?!

I just decided to ignore it, eat as fast as possible, and get out of there as fast as possible. But he were all kinda just staring at me, until he asked, "Hey, can I have your Gordita?"

I stood up, threw my stuff in the trash, and excused myself to the restroom to escape. Only there was no restroom. And I suddenly really had to pee.

Suddenly, I felt something wet hit me in the face, and I blinked.

I don't remember anything after that. All I remember is waking up at two A.M. in a bar, getting water splashed on me by a bartender.... I guess it was all so weird that I drowned it all in alcohol. *shrugs* Or maybe I just had too much to drink the night before....

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This monologue is on the longer side, as it is more of a longer, entertainment, story-type monologue. However, if you wish to use it for an audition, feel free to shorten it. Also feel free to replace Justin Beiber with a different celebrity if you wish. I chose him at random out of all the various celebrities to poke fun at when I was writing this a year or so ago, so the reference may be a little outdated. This monologue also includes a lot of pantomiming, so it is an excellent way to show off your control over and use of both the stage and your imagination.