My Roommate Is A Tomboy

Of Boats And Sicknesses

My feet was shaking as I stepped into the boat. I felt like I was walking into my doom box. My whole body felt rigid from holding them taut to balance myself until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Relax," Ella assured. "it's not that bad."

I willed myself to believe her. She was carrying a paper lamp in her hand. It was glowing orange inside.

"what's that for?" I asked.

"Granting wishes," she smiled.

I grinned. Really? Ella is superstitious?

"Trust me, it works," she said and then added: "Sometimes."

"Okay, as you say so," I said, just to humour her. I still didn't believe it.

"Just let it go and make a wish as it floats up to the sky," she said.

The boat was moving closer to the middle of the lake. It was moving in a slow rhythm. It almost felt like I was floating.

"Hey this isn't so bad after all," I said, actually enjoying the ride.

"I told you so," she smiled in satisfaction. "Ready to make a wish?"

"Uh... Sure," I said.

She shifted closer to me. Coming so close. I felt my breath hitching up. Keep it together Liz, she's just a friend. A girl. Her face looked so radiant from the glow of the lamp. She took my hand in hers while she gestured me to hold the lamp together with the other hand. I did as I was told, only I was shaking.

"Make a wish and then we let go of this lamp," she said and closed her eyes.

A wish? A wish! What could I possibly wish for? I had nothing to wish for at the moment. I knew it wouldn't be fulfilled anyway but I just wanted to give it a try and wished for something close to impossible. I wished I could see mom.

All that was happening reminded me of the animated movie Tangled where Rapunzel and Flint found their true calling with each other. Smiling from ear to ear, I looked at Ella. Her expression was serious.

"Ella?"

"Liz," she said looking straight into my eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but I could see her hesitating. Then she pursed her lips and gave me a small smile and refrained herself from whatever she was about to say.

I smiled back not knowing what to say or do. Her hands were still on mine. I didn't want to move lest she takes away her hand and I didn't want that. I wanted to hold her hand.

"If only eyes could speak, I wouldn't have to say anything," was all she said.

We went back to the dorm after that. Neither of us spoke much. It was only when we reached that things began to spice up.

Courtney came rushing to our room while I was changing.

"Where have you been? I've been calling your number forever," she gasped.

"It must have been on silent," I explained and then seeing the frantic look on her face, I added. "What's going on?"

"Where's the tomboy?" she asked.

Ella had stopped by outside saying she need to attend to something.

"She isn't in yet," I said. "What's happening?"

"It's Jenny," she answered. "She's in the medical ward. And she's in a serious condition."

Half dressed, we both rushed to the ward. Courtney explained that she had a kind of stroke and epileptic seizure around midday and that she was in coma.

When we entered, a nurse was attending on her. She was still asleep. Her face and arms were as white as the sheets and she looked terrible, almost ghostly. Lena was in the corner reading a novel. She put aside her novel as we entered.

"What exactly happened?" I asked.

"She used to tell me she had a medical condition," Lena said. "Although she never told me what it exactly was."

The nurse left the room leaving the four of us alone.

"What does she have?"

"She has had a heart attack," Lena answered.

I was stunned into speechlessness. What? How? Why?

"And your roommate?" Lena asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"She's not in yet," I answered.

"I feel like all these," said Lena gesturing at the sleeping form of Jennifer. "Is because of her."

"Wha-" I sputtered. "You're blaming Ella? For Jenny's sickness?"

"Why not?" she replied defiantly. "We all know what's going on with them."

I stared at Lena dumbfounded. How could anyone be so misguided. I turned to Courtney for support but she shook her head too.

"Sorry Liz," she said grimly. "But that's how I see it too."

Another shock of silence.

"But its not her fault she can't love Jenny," I said finally. "I mean if you were in her shoes, what could you possibly have done?"

"She could just get with the flow," Lena suggested.

"And sacrifice her happiness by being with someone she can't love?" I pushed.

Lena gave a deep sigh and plopped down beside Jennifer. She stared at her roommate for a long time without saying anything.

"I'm just scared," Lena said. Her eyes were still locked on Jennifer's pale face. "I don't want anything to happen to her. You know, she may be difficult to handle at times but inside she really is a nice person. She's like a sister I never had."

Her last sentence came out with a broken voice. I felt sorry for Lena. I never imagined I would see the emotional side of goofy Lena. I knelt and gave her a hug from behind. Courtney stood and watched by the door.

"I know you should defend your roommate just like I am defending Jen," she admitted. "But I know you're right too. If she can't love her, there's nothing we can do about it. I just hope she gets well soon."

I wished I had wished for Jennifer to get well earlier, though I didn't believe in the wish. It was still worth a try. I had loathed Jennifer without even knowing what exactly she was feeling all along. I thought it was just a fling. How wrong I was! It was a matter of life and death for her. I remembered her telling me she loved Ella more than she loved herself. She was madly in love with her. What could I do about it if Ella wouldn't? I went back to my room, alone and a little wiser.