My Roommate Is A Tomboy

Twists and Surprises

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying next to Courtney on her bed. She was still fast asleep, breathing deeply. I stared at the ceiling, feeling sober. I thought about the events that happened the previous day. I realized I had sealed my fate. Somehow I felt like I had really lost Ella this time. After all that had happened, Ella still cared enough to check up on me and I behaved so irrationally. A stray tear rolled down.

Don't brood over it. You brought it upon yourself.

That was what my conscience told me. If I had been sober, the outcome would have been a totally different one. But there was no use regretting. What has happened has happened. I couldn't do anything about it. The least I could do was say sorry to her even if she doesn't forgive me.

I wiped the tear hastily as Courtney stirred. I turned the other side and pretended to be asleep. I heard her getting up and going to the bathroom. I got up while she was still in the bathroom.

"Good morning," Courtney wished me when she returned.

I wished her back glumly. She shuffled around her wardrobe.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," I said sheepishly. "I got carried away."

Courtney just 'hmm'd.

"Liz, can I ask you something?" She said, still checking out her wardrobe.

"Hm?"

"Do you like Ella?"

Do I like Ella? That was an understatement. I love Ella. I love her to the moon and back. I wondered if I was ready to tell Courtney about it or not. Then I decided although I'm scared of what her reaction would be, it was better to let it out instead of keeping it to myself. After all she is my friend and she has the right to know.

"Courtney," I started with a deep breath. "I hope it doesn't change the way you feel about me when I'm through with what I'm gonna tell you."

Courtney turned and came and sat beside me.

"Shoot," she offered. "I'm all ears."

I told Courtney everything. From the point I met her till the previous day after the unfortunate meeting. When I was done, I waited with bated breath for her response.

To my surprise, she wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Liz," she said as she hugged me. "I didnt know you were going through so much pain."

When she pulled away, I gaped at her in surprise.

"You're not.." I stuttered. "You're not surprised?"

"I am but it didn't hit like a brick," she smiled. "I have gay friends too and I know some who really even tied the knot. We can't blame anyone for who they are. Their happiness is what matters. Its their freedom to choose who they wanna be with."

I still couldn't believe what was happening or what I was hearing. I was quite scared to tell her fearing she would never be the same if she knew my status. But here she was, all understanding, even promoting gay affairs.

"It must be so hard for you," she continued. "I mean, if I was in your place, I'd have undergone a mental breakdown long ago. You're one strong woman Liz. I admire you for that. Now if you want that apology to be heard, you better go find her and tell her you're sorry."

"But that won't change anything, would it?" I asked sadly.

"No harm in trying," she coaxed. "You never know what could happen."

"What if she doesn't want to see me?"

"Liz, I guarantee you that she will see you."

I went back to my room for a wash up and change of clothes. I smelled of weed. My load seemed lighter after spilling it out on Courtney. I smiled to myself thinking I did well in choosing someone as supportive as Courtney as a friend.

Feeling fresher after a shower, I dressed up. I wore the same thing I did when Ella and me went out on her birthday. I took one last look at the mirror and went out in search of Ella. I was sure she had moved in with Jenny so I made my way to Jenny's room. Once outside, I took a deep breath and knocked. I replayed my lines in my head. My knees were shaking. I knocked again. Jenny opened the door.

"Hey Jenny," I greeted her.

"What's up," she looked at me quizically. Apparently, she didnt expect to see me at her door.

"Is Ella in?" I asked. Rapid heartbeat alert. Jenny could be a problem.

"What do you mean?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jenny was making it harder than I anticipated. I wish I had just called Ella's number instead of taking this blind leap.

"Doesn't she stay here?" I asked sarcastically.

"Who told you she stays here?" She replied.

"You mean she didn't move in here?" I asked, unable to contain my amazement.

"What do you mean 'move in here'?" She asked. She looked as confused as me.

"But she moved out, so I thought she must have been crashing here," I explained.

"But...but she never told me she moved out," she said, her eyes round with surprise.

What?! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jenny couldn't be lying. Her pretense always looked obvious but this looked genuine.

"I.." I trailed. I didnt know what to say. "Okay then."

I turned to go but Jenny called me back.

"Can we have a talk?" She asked.

I nodded and she invited me in. I looked around, things didnt change much around here.

"Lena left early," she explained. "Some extra coaching."

I sat down and wondered what she wanted to talk about. I bet to myself it was about Ella.

"I'm sure you already know what I wanted to talk about," she said as she sat down too.

"No. What?"

"About her."