Closet Thoughts (a short Joshler story) 🏳️‍🌈 ✔️

🍁9🍄🐿🍂

TW: talking about self harm again. Be safe!

"Hey big sis", Josh greeted Ashley as he gave her a hug. "Hey lil bro, hi Tyler, good to see you again", she said as she let both boys into her home.

Tyler just nodded, biting his lip. He was nervous and he really just couldn't talk at the moment.

"You boys want a drink first?" She asked. "I'd like a drink but I think we'll just get it over with ASAP, hm?" Josh said, looking at his best friend who nodded quickly as he looked down at the ground.

"Alright, lets do that", she said. They walked to the kitchen and Ashley's husband Andrew was there. He greeted both boys, gave Josh a bro hug, and poured them a drink while Ashley cleared out the kitchen table and put a sheet on it. Josh sat down with Tyler next to him, who was shaking as he held the glass of coke in his hand.

Josh rubbed his back comfortingly, calming him down just a little bit. Andrew made small talk with them - well, Josh - to distract them a bit from Ashley who was preparing the table.

"I'm ready when you are, Tyler", she then said.

"I'm gonna go rewatch my new favorite movie", Andrew said as he got up and left the kitchen.

"Which one is that?" Josh asked Ashley. "It's about this business man who goes on a holiday with his best friend and then falls in love with him. Andrew is always crying when he watches that movie", Ashley said. Josh laughed.

Tyler hated that Josh laughed at Ashley describing that movie. It only made him feel worse.

"So, no questions?" Josh asked Ashley. "absolutely none. Except for medical ones", she said. "Yeah, of course", Josh said, looking at Tyler. He rested his hand on Tyler's shoulder and Tyler startled, looking up. "You ready, Ty?" Josh asked softly.

"Don't think I'll ever be", Tyler softly said, but he got up. "So..." he trailed.

"Come sit down here", she said, patting the table. "I'll have a look."

Tyler walked around the kitchen table and sat down atop of it. Josh stayed where he was sitting to give Tyler and Ashley some space.

"Which side is it?" She asked. "Right side", Tyler replied. Ashley hummed. "Can I?" She then asked. Tyler nodded. She lifted up Tyler's shirt, revealing his left side. Her face didn't change when she saw the wounds, so Tyler had no idea what she was thinking.

"What did you use?" She asked as she inspected the wounds. "Um... my pocket knife and the uh, the burns are from heating up the blade with a lighter", Tyler softly said, looking down at his wounds now too. He was glad his back was toward Josh. He wouldn't want to see his best friend's expression right now.

Ashley just hummed as a reply. "And have you ever cleaned or disinfected the blade?" She then asked. "...no", Tyler softly replied. "The one I usually heat up is a different one too", he said. Ashley nodded. "So it's never been cleaned or disinfected at all, so neither did the flame of the lighter do that, right?" She said. Tyler nodded.

Josh didn't know what to do or where to look. He was feeling nervous but there wasn't a reason to be nervous. He just felt... tense, he guessed, because Ashley was asking him questions that Josh had obviously been wondering deep down, but would never ask Tyler himself. And Tyler was answering them to her. He didn't want to say or do anything to make Tyler not trust either of them anymore. So he kept silent.

"When was the last time you made the burns?" She asked. "Like... yesterday morning", Tyler said. Josh inhaled sharply at that.

Ashley hummed again. "What about the cuts?" She then asked, taking a big band aid off of one of them. "...last night, early morning", he softly said. "Around 3-4 AM I think."